Lord willing

I love calendars and lists and really enjoy things like planning our family vacations. There's certainly nothing wrong with being organized and making plans, but it's important to be flexible when life doesn't go as planned. Some people acknowledge this by saying the words "Lord willing" when talking about upcoming events. On May 29, 2012 someone from our dentist's office called to confirm my appointment for the next morning. I remember saying, "I'll see you then" and thinking nothing of making that promise. In the middle of the night I woke up in a pool of blood and was admitted to the hospital with life threatening pregnancy complications. Early that morning I asked my husband to call the dentist's office to let them know that I wouldn't be coming, and due to bed rest and such, several months passed before I actually made it to the dentist. Ever since that day, I have found myself being more careful in how I word things. When asked to confirm my next appointment, I said "I'm planning to be there." As it says in Proverbs 27:1, "Don’t brashly announce what you’re going to do tomorrow; you don’t know the first thing about tomorrow

On Thursday I was expecting to host a Thanksgiving dinner for fourteen people, but the turkey has yet to be cooked because my mother-in-law was admitted to the hospital on Monday morning and my father ended up at the hospital with a blood pressure of 236/103 on Tuesday night. If I stuck with the plan of having our dinner on Thursday, most of our guests wouldn't have been able to make it. We're hoping to have our meal tomorrow with eleven of us gathered around the table. This situation reminded me of James 4:13-15, "Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into this or that town and spend a year there and do business and make a profit.'  You do not know about tomorrow. What is your life like? For you are a puff of smoke that appears for a short time and then vanishes.   You ought to say instead, “If the Lord is willing, then we will live and do this or that." Although I don't plan to actually start using the words "Lord willing" all the time, I want to make plans with the attitude that the Lord is truly in charge of my life and to graciously accept any changes to those plans.

Memories

This time of year always gets me thinking of family and holidays past.  This is the first year in which none of my grandparents are living to celebrate the holidays with us, so the memories seem just a bit more bittersweet.

When I was a child, we spent Thanksgiving on my Grandfather's farm.  The farm was located far off the main road, and just getting there was an adventure in itself.  We had to drive for miles on a one-lane road with extremely deep ruts that forced us to drive either to the right or left of them to keep from getting stuck, and we always hoped that one of the few neighbors wasn't coming the other way.  Then there was a series of gates that we had to pass through.  My Dad would ride on the hood of the car and my mother would drive so that he could open and close the gates as we passed through.  If it rained even a little, we would have to park and walk in.

Arriving at the tiny farmhouse (there was a larger one up the road where my Great-Great Uncle Joe lived), we entered through the kitchen, which held a wood-burning cookstove, a dry sink (my Mom said that the only running water was her and her sister running it up from the spring when they lived there as children), a small metal cabinet and a very small table.  There was a little sitting room which was furnished with an armless couch and one or two chairs, and was heated by a potbelly stove, and there were two small bedrooms in the back of the house that contained three double beds.  Each room had a ceiling light and one or two outlets, and that was it for electricity.  You will notice that there is no mention of indoor plumbing... the outhouse sat quite a distance from the house, until it fell over one year.  Every night before going to bed, we would bundle up in our flannel jammies, winter coats and boots and take one last trip to the outhouse.  Good times!!

I come from a family of hunters, including my Grandma, about whom my Granddad would boast that she got the biggest deer in the family.  When Thanksgiving time rolled around and we headed to the farm, there were usually 15 or more of us crammed into that tiny house for a few days.  The house was very old, so as the Thanksgiving tradition was carried out over the years, we began signing the kitchen wall so that we could remember who all had come each year.  I distinctly remember counting 25 people one year, and I still can't figure out how we all fit into that house at the same time!  The hunters were gone most of the daylight hours, and we children would run around outside playing cowboys and Indians and Little House on the Prairie all day.  At bedtime, Grandma and Granddad got one bed, Granny and Grannyma (my Great-Grandma) got the other if they came, all the kids were piled into the third bed, and everyone else slept on the floor.  It was a tricky thing to have to use the outhouse late at night!

For our Thanksgiving meal, Grandma always cooked the turkey in an electric roaster, but everything else was made on the wood-burning cook stove.  Dinner was served on paper plates with plastic utensils, and we had to eat in shifts because of the small space.  When dinner was over, any dishes that did have to be washed were washed in a dishpan filled with water that was heated on the stove, and the water was tossed off the front porch.

Such simple, crazy fun memories!  This year I celebrated Thanksgiving with my husband's side of the family for the first time, and shared my childhood memories with them.  We laughed, and my sister-in-law assured me that there was a seat at the table for me, and that there was enough space that we wouldn't have to eat in shifts.  We then went to see our own grandchild, and as I held her, I thought again of how blessed I was to have my grandparents around me for so long, and of all the memories that I hope to build with my step-children and grandchildren, hopefully none of which will involve an outhouse!

Thankful For.......

     After three full weeks in the auto repair shop, our car was returned & running well. The next day, we took it to have the wheels aligned. It's a 2001 Cadillac Catara, so getting parts is not exactly easy.
     I am impatient with slow drivers. On a dreary, dark, day, after the tires were lined up and I was driving home from the grocery stores. A guy in a work truck was driving between five and fifteen miles per hour, below the speed limit. I tried to pass but didn't feel there was enough room. Thereafter, I was determined to pass the next chance I got. I looked up the long stretch of hill and saw nothing was coming. I put my foot down as I came from behind, to pass. Then suddenly, a black truck without illuminated headlights, was headed straight towards me. I slammed on the breaks, swerved to go back behind the slowpoke, and kept sliding off the road. I couldn't stop. Then THUG, CRASH! Shaking, I got out of the car. The burnt smell of the side air bag popping out had filled my nostrils. OH CRAP, was all I could think. I looked at the damage. The front tire was flat, the entire passenger side was crunched, two windows were gone, the side mirror and bumper were just hanging there. Then a police car with headlights & sirens blaring came around the bend..... but went right passed. I had hit a garbage dumpster and some wooden steps.
     A guy that stopped to help asked. "Are you O.K.?" "Who are your parents?" I was like, what? I had been really uneasy about becoming 40 in the near future. So I was like, whoohoo, my face serum is SOOOO working, yay! Then I thought, wait! Maybe he thought I was so young, because only an inexperienced person would do this. I'm going with, I look 20. A girl from the little store across the street, called the owners of the place I slid across. The first thing out of their mouths was, "are you O.K.?" I said, "I am fine." "I am so sorry I messed up your steps." They said, "this is the sixth time this happened, at least you didn't take out the mail boxes, like everyone else." Paul came and said, that car's totaled. That almost made me sick. We just got the car back the day before. That day, we put a three year alignment warranty on it, and recently bought 4 more expensive tires. The guy that asked who my parents were said, "you are really lucky, you should have flipped, Wow!"
     A few days later, it sunk in. God saved me from so many things that could have happened. I was only a little stiff, not dead or damaged, and I work for a chiropractor. No one in the other two vehicles were involved at all. I didn't cause much property damage. The owner said the steps were being repaired with most of the existing wood, to have a nice Thanksgiving, and we'll work out any small cost later. No one was with me. Anyone on the passengers side would have been hurt. Everyone, was very nice to me, including my husband Paul. Only one side was damaged. The auto-body guy found another car like ours in a junk yard. So, we may purchase cheaper parts from it. Paul said he would repair the car if, I slow down. Every bit of my groceries, including the case of glass bottled mineral water, were fine. I had a cell phone to call Sarah & Paul. Sarah gave me a hug when I walked in the house and had tried to make dinner for us all before we got home. I have so many things to be thankful for, on this Thanksgiving Day. God is so gracious. THANK YOU GOD!

Ouch!

 

 A week ago..... I was getting ready to leave for work. I ran up my stairs just like I do a hundred times every day. Only this time was different.  I caught my little toe on a heat vent. Exploding pain was quickly followed by a burning sensation. My toe felt numb but was throbbing at the same time. With no time to spare, I hobbled back downstairs and put my socks and shoes on and went out the door to work. After my 9 hour shift had ended, I limped home and finally dared to look at my toe. It was a lovely shade of purple.
  I had never really contemplated the importance of that little toe before, but now that it was broken, it was all I thought about. I thought about how it helps me keep my balance. I thought about how many thousands of times a day it contributes to the motion of every step I take.
  How do you treat a broken toe??? According to my COTA sister (Terri), R-I-C-E = rest (have you met my children?), ice (substitute a bag of frozen corn), compression (just shoving it into my shoe seems to be compression enough), and elevate (again...have you met my children?).
  I have found myself becoming extremely protective of that appendage. The rest of my body automatically compensates for the injured part. I walk differently, sit differently, drive differently all to try to protect that toe from further pain. I try to keep it from having to bear its normal load. I tape it to a stronger appendage so that it will be supported.
  How many times in the body of Christ do we fail to recognize the value of another part of the body until it is broken? So many times we go about our normal routine when out of the blue...BAM! Something happens that causes causes pain, damage, and weakness. What is the most helpful treatment of an injury??? Scolding??? Pointing out fault??? Ignoring the hurt???
  The body of Christ is called to compensate for the hurting....to help in bearing the weight....to bind the weaker part together to a stronger member....to promote healing so that the previously injured part can function to its fullest potential.

Thanksgiving Prayer

We thank you, Father, for the gift of Jesus your Son who came to our earth and lived in a simple home. We have a greater appreciation of the value and dignity of the human family because he loved and was loved within its shelter. Bless us this day; may we grow in love for each other in our family and so give thanks to you who are the maker of all human families and our abiding peace.

From The Catholic Prayer Book, compiled by Msgr. Michael Buckley

My life in the past didn't have very many ready-made prayers.  Once in a great while for an important occasion such as a wedding or Easter celebration, a person might take a page of notes up to pray, but even that was a little odd.  My Catholic life is full of wonderful prepared prayers, and I am thankful for them. Sometimes, like this time, they help me see what's right in front of me in a new way.
Thinking of the Son of God in an earthly home with all its limitations and knowing how obviously important his family was to him and the way he cared for it, makes me desire to love my family in better ways.  His human family must have fallen so far short of the divine love he shared with his Heavenly Father, but he valued what it was instead of complaining about what it wasn't
This is a good prayer to keep in my pocket this Thanksgiving.  Happy Thanksgiving to you and to your families.

Hope for Nobody



I am Nothing
I am Nobody special
Did you know?
Nothing is so Cold
Nothing is Bleak
It has no voice
But it cries in the night
Nobody’s children ask for heat
For Christmas, suffering
For Nobody is that Poor
Nothing is ashamed to be Nobody
Can Nobody dare to hope?
Nobody wants Nothing More
Than Someone to see
But not turn away
To make Something
Out of Nothing at all
To Claim Nobody as His own
To give Nobody their name
And a Future with no shame
Nothing and Nobody stand in His Way
But what He changes, He keeps
And what is His
He makes Worthy and Special
Nothing and Nobody 
Nevermore

Dirty.

     I have my last preschooler in home right now.  Ellanor is a ray of delight and laughter in our home.  She has tufts of curly blond hair and a ready, wide smile.  Her laugh brings fairies back to life.  She used to love dirt.
     The stickier, gooier, grossier the mess, the better.  She did not like the cleaning process.  That is putting it mildly.  As soon as she heard the water hit the paper towel, and mommy make the "Ok, time to clean up," noises, she started to run and scream.  Smearing the mess on the wall, door, floor and couch, if at all possible, as she ran.  When I caught her, the wild thrashing, gnashing of teeth, and loud "I HATE YOU's" would ring out.  I persevered.  If you read my last post, you have seen that God has transformed me into a consistent mom.  You're dirty, it is time to clean up.
     Then there was a subtle shifting. 
     We recently had our monthly, Saturday morning, Doughnut Day.  Oh, we all love doughnut day.  I buy the stickiest, gooiest, chocalatiest doughnuts I can buy in Lafayette.  This particular Doughnut Day marked a difference in Ellanor.  She was holding her eight inch long glazed tiger tail doughnut when she put it down, looked up at me and said, "Mommy,  I sticky.  Please clean me off with water and napkin."  There was a silence in the room.  Nobody had every heard my baby girl utter those words.  I said calmly as I could muster, "Of course, honey.  Let me get the paper towel."  She sat perfectly still as I wiped, moped and dried.  She who used to love the mess learned that clean was better.  Then I saw us all as humans.
     We come into the world determined to sin.  Loving to spread the mess and our stain around the room, we lash out at anyone that might correct us.  Jesus in his loving and patient way calls to us and comes with robes of righteousness cleaned in His own blood.  We learn that clean is better.  Over time, we give up the stickiness of our sins that once enslaved us as God teaches us a better way.  Oh, to be free in the shining streets of heaven gleaming in our spotless robes!

God is in the details

Over the years I have become ruthlessly frugal.  Partly for the thrill of finding a gem of a deal, but also out of necessity.  Having a large family will naturally do that to you.  This year for Christmas gifts for the kiddos I have started searching our local second-hand store.  I was taken back by the loads of amazing deals I got on dolls for my daughters.  Dolls that were actually on the top of their wish list this year.  My greatest find, however, was a huge bag full of Thomas the train.  There was hundreds of dollars worth of tracks, accessories and engines.   I took the bag down off the shelf and examined it carefully, yes indeed it was truly the name brand stuff...in mint condition.    I turned the bag over and checked the price.  Sigh.  It was a bit higher than what I wanted to spend, but this deal was still too good to pass up.  Now, This was one of those stores that purchase items from you as well, so I found my way up to the counter to have it put on hold until they went through my itemsI had   brought in.  On my way through the store I spotted two hooded sweatshirts for my son and a couple of other items for Christmas gifts.  The sweet woman behind the counter held the items for me and I joined my husband at the bookstore around the corner.  While waiting for the call from the second-hand store I added up what my purchase would be, and with a twenty-percent off coupon I had earned, came up with the total price of seventy-five dollars.  Sigh.  This was still a bit more than I wanted to spend on that day, even though I would be scoring some great deals on gifts for my kiddos and winning smiles around the living room on Christmas morning.  I remembered how I had resolved to have peace this Christmas season.  I had resolved to use our budget in the most responsible way possible.  Finding three gifts each for eight children is a challenge, and finding ones that speak to who they are and what their hearts desire is a tough journey at best.  I prayed about that purchase.  I know it may sound silly, but I pray about all purchases.  Even if it is toilet paper and Q-tips at meijer, I want to always make sure I am spending money with the right heart about the matter.  So, I prayed.  After my husband and I finished up at the bookstore I returned to the store expecting I would have to make a decision.  To put a few things back to stay within the price range I had set.  The clerk placed my items on the counter for the to purchase and I asked for the quote amount.  She checked the paper and said "seventy-five dollars and fifty cents".  Did you get that...seventy-five dollars....and fifty cents.  It was as though God was saying...."yes, child I love you.  And want to give to you in abundance, the desires of your heart".  He answered my prayers and saw my heart that day.  God sees, he knows, and he is in the details.   This was such a sweet reminder to me that God, in His goodness, has the power to do all things.  Sometimes I can look at situations and thing they will never work out.  That they are hopeless.  Relationships, teaching, parenting, schedules, budgets.   And yes, by my own strength so many of these are hopeless.  But with God these things are possible.  He is in the details.

Tradition, Tradition

When you reflect back on your childhood, what are your strongest memories? What I remember the most are the traditions my parents implemented such as family fun night, family devotions, prayer times, summer vacations, Christmas caroling in our neighborhood, physical and spiritual birthday celebrations, etc. Last November I started a new tradition in our family. I got a special journal and on Thanksgiving Day recorded things that each of us were thankful for. Now that my daughter is able to write, I am planning on having her write in the journal next week. I will transcribe the lists of her younger brothers until they are also old enough to write in the journal each November. It's always a good idea to stop and count our blessings, and I am hoping that this journal will be treasured by my children when they are adults. In Treasuring God in our Traditions Noel Piper stresses the importance of everyday traditions as well as special celebrations - birthdays, weddings, funerals, Christmas, and Easter. How can we keep God at the center of each of these? Lately I have been giving thought to our family's traditions. I hope they will not only provide fond memories for my children in the future but more importantly point them to the Lord.

On Being Real



"In this house we do second chances
We do Grace  We do Real
We do mistakes
We do I'm sorrys
We do Hugs  We do Family
We do Love"


This wall hanging was given to us this week by some very dear friends who told my husband that he had immediately come to mind when they saw it.  As I have been getting to know him more fully in our nearly two years of marriage, I know exactly why our friends connected this quote to him.  Philip is one of the most "real" people that I have ever known.  From the very beginning of our acquaintance, there has never been any pretense, no facades, no masks.  What you see is what you get with Philip.  He is not perfect, but neither am I, and neither is anyone else.  What he is, is open and honest about his imperfections, and about the revelation of grace that he has come to know and walk in.  He has helped me learn to be more open and honest, with myself first of all, then with others (including God!).  I have become more aware of areas in which I have judged others, and have not extended the very same grace that I have received to those who need it most.  In coming to know my husband, I have begun to know my own heart more intimately, and become more sensitive to the heartbeat of God for those who are hurting and who are searching for something real.  I look at people differently these days.  The ones who seem to be running headlong toward destruction are the ones that I want to pursue relentlessly so that they can know the relentless, passionate love of God for them, and know that they are beautiful to Him.  



Fasting?!?

God has directed me to fast, at times. Each fast is different, each have
different purposes and lessons to learn.
A few years ago, God told me to fast. That time, I was allowed to eat
any vegetables I wanted, with only salt, vinegar  and/or oil, cooked or 
raw. I was allowed to consume anything drinkable except alcohol, dairy, 
sugary beverages or coffee. Paul & I went to a buffet with lots of vegetable
choices. I was tempted by my beloved cooked cabbage with ham. I 
rationalized eating it, by removing the ham, cabbage was allowed. I knew 
it was likely to have things in it, I shouldn't have, even without ham. I ate 
any way. I became so sick to my stomach, I wanted to die. The fast lasted 
longer then it would have, and I was sick. A lesson well learned.

This last time, I knew a month or so before the fast, as God began 
revealing the purposes. Instead of cutting back, I went head long into
eating & drinking craving inducing things. When I heard God say, 
"Fast Today", I was like, oh crap! O.K.... fine! I asked, "God could I
have some help with this?" Then I took a big drink of my homemade 
chicken broth, He had directed me to have. I burned my mouth so 
badly that is was numb for 3 days, and I tasted little for 4 and a half 
days. The fast was five days, go figure. Ask and you shall receive. 
It would have been better to prepare instead. Another lesson learned.

During my fasts, I have some cravings, but there is a special 
dispensation given to me that is difficult to describe. However, when 
I tried to fast on my own, I was a mess. On my "God fast", as I call 
them, I sometimes made breakfast for Sarah, sat with others while they 
ate and I simply had my God approved item, while I had no desire for 
their food. This was a combination of that dispensation spoken of 
earlier, and lessons previously learned. Other times, I would go to another 
room and read the bible, or stay at work while my family ate dinner. 

I'm not blogging these things to pretend I am holier then thou. Oh please,
those that really know me would laugh in your face at that very thought.
However, this is a subject rarely broached by God's own people today.
When Jesus spoke of fasting he didn't say if, but rather When you fast
do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to 
show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their 
reward in full.... Then Jesus goes on to give instruction; But when you fast, 
put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to 
others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your
Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. Mathew 6:16-18

Jesus is not saying you can't even tell your family your fasting. They'll 
notice you aren't eating. If you are to be with others during your fast, you 
may need to tell them, should they need to know for food preparation
purposes. 
The point is, we are to fast as God directs and not be obvious about it. 
There are specific reasons God directs us to fast and if we are obedient, 
we are rewarded. If we are disobedient, we are punished, simple. The 
reward is a way better outcome, trust me!

Grace that is Greater

 

 Last night I was having a conversation with my brother in law. We were discussing upcoming events for our band. The conversation turned to the message of our music. The songs that we have been writing do not follow the pattern of the majority of today's Christian music. Our songs tell the story of our journeys....the gut wrenching truths of painful experiences and how in the midst of it all, because of grace, we still hold on to our faith.
  Phil made the statement that we have the tendency to believe that we are saved by grace, but fail to realize that we are also kept by that same grace. After we accept Christ, we fall into the mindset of having to prove our worth.... as if grace isn't enough. When hard times come, we think about what we did to deserve this instead of who we can lean on to preserve us.
  We mask our broken places thinking that nobody would ever understand. Afraid that if we are truthful about our hurts, our thoughts, our reactions.....we will be chastised, ridiculed, and told exactly what we should have done to prevent it....as if we aren't already beating ourselves up enough.  So we stress, strain, and labor in silence. We take every perceived failure to heart and convince ourselves that we will never be productive. Then we stop trying...."frightened that our best will only leave us reprimanded".
  We remember that we were in need of a Savior. But we must remind ourselves and each other that our need goes further than salvation. If we never going to experience lack, we wouldn't need Him to be our Provider. If we were never going to be broken, we wouldn't need Him to be our Healer. If we were never going to experience grief, we wouldn't need Him to be our Comforter. If we were never going to have doubts, we wouldn't need Him to be our Counselor. So the truth is...acknowledging our human weaknesses does not prove our unworthiness....it simply proves that we need Jesus.


Stories


Stories have always been my delight.  I'm knacky with them, quick to see where each element is leading.  It's only gotten worse as I've been creating my own stories.  Now when I read or watch a story unfold there is too much for me to analyze and nothing seems to get past my brain to my heart.
Everyone has stories they love but can't bear.  For me, Unstrung Heroes is one of them.  I fell in love with it the afternoon we watched on the big screen, and I sobbed through it twice on VHS.  Then I forgot about it, mostly on purpose.  
It was a slow Sunday, yesterday, so when the last third of Unstrung Heroes came up on the tv guide I only remembered loving it not the reason why.  My family found me sobbing on the couch thirty minutes later.  It's the way she says goodbye to her children and husband and leaves the room to die without disturbing their peace.  You can't watch that film without having to face how pointless our vows are, because so much of our life is out of our hands.  No one has the strength to direct life, except of course, for the ultimate author.
We feel safer in some way when we put our selves in the hands of an author.  One human to another, he/she will know what we can take and what we can't.  We can learn without the terror of life.  In life you can't shut a book or a door and be home to the familiar and happy in life.  In life all you can do is hang on.
"All things work together for good for them that love God and are called according to his purpose."  There are times when I forget that life's author views us from the safety of eternity.  Scenes of horror and torture are only twists to move the plot along.  Looking at the details of my story and the stories of the people around me I only see what I know, and I don't know much.  I only know the author and that he loves me.

Stop, Look, and Listen



I will look to You
Even through this darkness grim
When the world come crashing down
I will keep my eyes on Him
I can’t handle what You can
I know not all enemies
Plotting close for my demise
You stand Right in front of me
Thank You, Love, forevermore
For all I do not know
You Will handle what I can’t
And show where You want me to go
And all I have to do is
Listen

Transformed.

     I have been, in the past, a most absentminded and flaky sort of person.  I'd show up to school with no pens, pencils, paper, notebooks, and mismatched socks.  Homework was hit or miss.  I missed it not out of an inability to do it, but an inability to REMEMBER it.  I was kicked out of piano lessons because I just forgot it was Wednesday that day.  She had had it with my forgetfulness, and would not teach me anymore.  Her ungraciousness, meant to teach me my lesson, didn't work, just made me soundly dislike her.  It isn't like I WANTED to forget piano, it was just that if I missed the bus, I'd have to wait until Dad was ready to leave school.  Some nights that was 7:00 pm.  So everyday I screamed in my head, "CAN'T MISS THE BUS!!!"  Couldn't that lady understand the conflict in my soul every day?! I longed to be the organized student that could remember two things at once.  But for some reason outside of me, I could not no matter how hard I tried.

      Sure I still have my days where I forget, double book, and have moments of panic about a forgotten 3 dozen cookies due in two hours.  HOWEVER, something has happened.  I had a boy.  Not just ANY boy, but my Joey.  Joey is complicated, genius level smart, and not the easiest to parent.

    I read parenting books.  I read A LOT of parenting books.  I ruminated over sticker charts, jelly jars filled with beads, m&m's, allowance, and organizational calendars.  Then I saw it.  With clarity and vision all of the books that seemed to convoluted in nature, were all the same on ONE point.

I could choose whichever parenting help or tool I wanted as long as

I WAS CONSISTENT IN IT.

     Tirelessly I rewarded, stickered, cheered, chided, disciplined, and encouraged.  I threw myself into finding some amazing way to make me consistent.  And then I prayed. LORD help me to truly Remember all the charts, stickers, pencils, beads, and rewards.  He answered and before I could realize what was happening to us all, I became consistent in parenting.  This gives me hope that the rest will sort itself under God's loving teaching.

    Just this past month two friends, from two different parts of my life,  said these words to me, "You know, I can tell how you never let up or relax.  You consistently teach your child."  WHO ME?!?!?!  The me that was kicked out of piano lessons?!  Oh, God, thank you.  Thank you for making this miracle in me.  Thank you for the fruit it has born in Joey's transforming heart.  Thank you for your care for us.

Madi

We have now entered a new season of our lives.  We are now the parents of a remarkable young teenager.  God has taught us so many valuable lessons from this sweet girl.  We began our journey with her, as young excited first-timers.  All of our friends were off finishing up collage, or looking for  that special someone, and we were falling in love with a babe of our own.  That first Christmas I still remember rocking her and softly singing joyful hymns as she slept peacefully in my arms.  We were surrounded by family and abundant in love.  Each new chapter for her was welcomed with anticipation from us.  The joys of watching her explore and blossom into the beautiful God-girl that she is today have filled us with with awe.  I pray that I can be a mom that can continue to guide her, and help light her path as she follows our savior.  The very savior I wispered about to her when she was only a newborn baby.  Lord, we need you.  We need you to continue to guide and direct our lives, so we can share you with our precious blessings.

Only one story

How many Bible stories are there? We speak as if there are many Bible stories - a story about Jonah, story about Noah, story about Esther, etc.  Michelle Anthony, author of Spiritual Parenting, contends that it's only one big story. God is the hero; as we study different parts of the big story, we can learn more about Him. For example, instead of analyzing whether Gideon was right or wrong to ask for miraculous signs through the fleeces, what does God's response to Gideon teach us about His patience? Although the Bible is complete, God's story is still unfolding. You and I are a part of His big story. I want my children to understand that the world is not all about them but is all about God and our relationship with Him. As a parent and a Sunday School teacher, I want to stop referring to them as individual stories but rather as parts of one big story. I think it is an excellent way to shift our focus to the true central character of the story - God and God alone.

The Grands

Last weekend my husband and I had the pleasure of a visit from his son and two of our four grandchildren.  They are 15 months and 2 years old, and we had so much fun with them, enjoying watching their father interact with them and chase them around our home fussing at them in an attempt to keep them from breaking anything or pounding on one another.  


I never had any children of my own, and when anyone inquired, I always joked that I had heard that grandchildren were more fun, so I planned to have them instead.  Little did I know that I was predicting my future!  When I was young(er), I casually assumed that I would do the marriage/2.5 children/picket fence thing like most girls dream of, but as my first marriage went along, it became apparent that having children wasn't the best idea.  Then when I found myself walking the path of a broken marriage, I was thankful that there were no children to wound.  Over the years I had accepted that I would not have children or grandchildren, and had to convince my grandmother that I was fine with that.  Which I was.

Then I met Philip, fell in love, married him and became a stepmother to three beautiful (and twentysomething) children as well as an instant grandmother.  It has been an interesting journey for me.  I pray for grace, because although I adore them all, I feel very much like a fish out of water when I am around them.  Because of my work schedule and distance, I don't get to see them very often, so it takes the little ones awhile to warm up to me whenever we do see them.  When they finally decide to snuggle up to me though, it is such an amazing thing to me!  I am so thankful to have them in my life, and I pray that I can be a positive influence in their lives like my grandparents were in mine.  This weekend we are going to meet our newest grandbaby who will be 5 weeks old.  We are so excited!!


Grandchildren are a crown to the aged,
and parents are the pride of their children.
Proverbs 17:6




Change?

I have seen them and so have you. You may even be one. One of those
people who will not change at any cost. A person who has the same
hair style & clothes style since, well forever. They, will not learn
technology and fight with everythingin them, claiming all new things
are evil and the old ways are better.


Oh really? Yeah, why don't we go back to before cell phones, ya know,
when if someone went on a trip and ran off the road, they could be there
for days before anyone found them, maimed or even dead. Before the
GPS systems that helped me go to a grocery store while in a completely
unfamiliar place. A task I would never have previously undertaken.

How about before Google? Go buy a set of encyclopedias, rather costly,
find a place to store them and update them constantly with new information.
Then any time you want to know something, look through all the pages
to find an answer to a question, but you must be very precise & spend lots
of time to get what you need. Instead of typing a vague topic into a 
computer to find it popped up on the screen with facts in moments.

So what about our lives? Are we changing? Was the old self better then 
what we are being transformed into by the renewing of our mind and the 
washing of the word? I don't know about you, but God is changing me 
moment by moment and it's not easy. I have to learn all the time, read His 
word often and listen to hear His voice. I have to stop my busy life and ask 
Him questions, then pay attention to every way He is communicating with 
me. A still small voice, an booming audible one, a bible verse, a friend with 
a word He gave them for me, a stranger with a provoking thought at just 
the rite time. God wants more from me now, then what I was when He 
made me His child. He is changing me and making me reach to new 
heights and it's not comfortable. It is way better, then the old me though.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of 
many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces 
perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature 
and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4 (NIV)