He's Got My Back!

My husband and I are on a much-needed vacation at the beach with our pastors, their family and many of our church family; about 25 adults, teens and children, and 4 dogs.  (Just a tiny bit of pandelirium here...haha!)  It has only been in the past few years that I have spent time at the ocean since my childhood, and I am finally beginning to feel confident enough to go out beyond waist-deep and to dive into the waves before they pummel me into the sandy bottom.  

Today the waves were fairly docile, and my hubby commented that God had given us an "adult swim day" in which the kids would have been bored to tears with the lack of crazy pounding waves.  Yesterday, however, the wind was blowing and the waves were knocking me all over the place.  Just about the time things seemed to calm down, Philip would call out to me, "Watch out behind you!"  Usually the warning came in time to spare me an extra dunking, but if it didn't, he always checked to be sure that I was okay.  I kept thanking him for watching out for me.  Today when he was watching my back, I thought of the Scripture about the Lord hemming me in behind and before, and I had the sense that He was reminding me that as much as my husband loved me and wanted to protect me, that it was nothing compared to the Lord's love and protection over me.  I am so grateful that, first of all, God is watching over me, and second, that he has blessed me with a loving husband to watch out for me as well, not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually.  I am a blessed woman!! 

Psalm 139:5 (NIV)

You hem me in behind and before,

and You lay Your hand upon me.

Psalm 121:7-8 (NIV)

The Lord will keep you from all harm--

He will watch over your life;

the Lord will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore.

Dogs, Toilets & Laughter

While going out for lunch with my husband & daughter, we discussed our dog. I asked my husband if he had given our dog, Scooby-Doo, water before we left. He said he had. I then mused over the fact that dogs will drink out of the toilet bowl if need be, to get a drink of water, this is disgusting to we humans. However, not so much to dogs. God did make them to be resourceful.

I said, "Scooby can't get a drink from our new toilet, because it's tall and he can barely put his paws on the rim now". I wondered aloud, what if Scooby tried to drink from the toilet while we were gone? He could jump onto the edge of the bathtub. While pushing off with his back paws, he would reach out with his front paws putting them onto the edge of the bowl, then lean down to get a drink. He would then, most likely, slip and fall head first into the toilet, yelp and end up flipping around in the cold water. Our dog hates getting a bath, so he would be freaked out. I could imagine entering the house with a shivering wet Scooby, his ears back and tail firmly tucked between his legs, eyes bulging practically out of his head, saying, "help me, I'm wet and cold"! 

By the time I am done imagining out loud, Sarah and I are laughing so hard I'm almost snorting. Paul is driving and laughing, saying, "poor Scooby-Doo".

I also wonder if God, thinks of the funny things we do, and laughs. I absolutely know He has a sense of humor. He made me and gave me this amazing imagination, to not only make me laugh, but my family as well. May God bless us all with laughter, even if it comes from a thirsty little dog, just trying to get a drink.

A merry heart does good like a medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones. Proverbs 17:22

Seeing

  My job requires me to work in people's homes. One of these houses has an attached apartment with a gentleman who has his own designated staff person until 9pm. Once they leave for the evening, he goes to bed and we typically don't hear from him.
   On a Friday night shortly past 9pm all 4 of my individuals were in bed and my side of the house was quiet. Suddenly the guy from next door burst into the house appearing very agitated. This man can be pretty intimidating. He stands well over 6 feet tall and has to weigh over 250lbs. In the past he has actually ripped an industrial door clean off of the hinges.
   My first reaction was that my heart started racing as I stood to deal with the situation. He was yelling and swinging his arms around, hitting himself in the head and shaking. I have never worked directly with him and I could not understand his body language. I was feeling nervous and concerned for everyone's safety.
    The more that the other staff person (who also had never worked with this person) and I struggled to understand him, the more agitated he became. We knew that if we couldn't break through the communication barrier, things would continue to escalate. We kept reassuring him that we were trying to understand him and that we were going to figure this out. We tried yes and no questions, having him draw/write, and other communication devices. Finally he called his sister who interpreted for us.    
   This gentleman is often misunderstood. Anyone looking into that situation from the outside may have called the police because it appeared as if he was going to assault us. In reality, he was frustrated because he felt sorry for something that he had done earlier in the day before we had come on shift. Once we understood him and reassured him that everything was okay, he left as abruptly as he had come. Had we not purposely strived to understand him, the potential for harm was imminent.
     There are so many times when I have looked at someone and assumed that I know what is going on with them. I have put words in their mouth, made my judgement, and written them off without asking them the questions that will show me their heart and often dispel my misconceptions. I must remember that I cannot see with my eyes how God is moving in their heart.
   
    I Samuel 16:7 ......"man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart".

Don't Panic!

"Don't panic" ought to be written in large friendly letters on our hearts.  After all, God is on our side, so who can defeat us?  No one.  Nothing.  Not even sin.  Catching myself sinning used to frighten me.  I'd run through being shocked, angry, humiliated, and exhausted.  I'd pull out all my coping mechanisms, but really those emotions were simply another face for fear.  Fear that I wasn't the person I want to be.  Fear that my greatest efforts fell short.  Fear that I wouldn't be loved.

My heart has begun to change as I've started to focus on confession.  I've always confessed my sins, but there was this idea of a lingering root sin that I'd never conquer.  I could confess until I was blue in the face, but I'd still be wicked in my heart.  Learning to embrace right now has taught me not to panic about sin.  If I find myself in the middle of wickedness, I pray, right now, confessing my weakness and my stubbornness.  I may not get where I want to be, but I'm usually a lot closer than I was.

Nothing can separate you from the love of God.  Don't let fear or embarrassment rob you of the close walk with God we all desire.  Don't panic.  Confess.

Seeds of Trial

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What are you planting

In your times of trial?

I do not always plant

The Seeds of Greatness

Yes, I plant Prayer,

Faith, Hope, but I tend

To mix Worry, Frustration,

Fear in my insufficient hands

My Father takes the good

And the bad, if I give it

All to Him, and I can Still

Rest assured that He Will

Make it come out Right

Master Gardener, Grow my Future

Omnipotent Provider, Take my life, my family,

All that is Yours in the First place

Do not let the world’s clutching hands

Tear away our joy in tatters

Or choke out our Hope like conniving weeds

Let us flourish, and make us

So much More than we can be,

An Inconceivably Lovely Harvest

Defeater of the Impossible

Make a way for us Somehow

Cultivate our delicate lives to bloom

In the ever-angry face of Destruction

Turn our fragile faces to Your Light

Root our faltering feet in Your Word

And Draw us to You with Strength Eternal

Trapped.

     I am leading an online Bible study and this week we studied this verse it brought back a memory of an object lesson that my Father used for children in the various schools where he taught.  This is what I wrote in response to studying these verses. 

     Whatever the cost I must be willing to give up that which I cling to. I must let go in order to save it. My Dad used to use a teaching tool for children. He made a wooden box with a small hole in it. He put a box of candy in the box. He would have the children in the class come up and try to get the candy out of the box. By holding on tightly, their fists became too large to pass through the hole. Their hands could reach in, but their fists could not come back out. The harder they tried the harder it was. 
     
     The story he told was of a monkey in a jungle. Trappers used boxes like these to trap the monkeys and take them from their homes. While the monkey was working so hard to get its fist out of the box filled with sweet berries, the trappers came and carried it away. If the monkey had just let go of the berries, it could have gone back to its family and home.
    
      I feel like many of us are like those monkeys. We cling to the treasures of the world and Satan comes and takes our lives and freedoms away. But if we can learn to let go of this world and its treasures, we can keep our lives and have our freedom in Christ.

Tough to transition

His name is Elijah.  He was born in the midst of one of the hottest summers I have ever experienced.  Shortly after 4:00 pm that day, Elijah experienced life for the very first time.  He drew his first breath…he was born.  He did fine for a while, though he did not cry as much as we would have liked him to, but as time went on he began to struggle.  He began by moaning occasionally, and at times his tummy would pump up and down while breathing, and by the time he was three hours old he was grunting loudly, and his stomach would push out and cave in with every breath he took.  It was a sad and alarming sight.  There he was, born completely healthy, and yet he was now struggling just to breath.  The nurses quickly took him to the nursery where he was placed in an oxygen dome where they could make sure he was getting the right level of oxygen that he needed.  You see in the womb, he was used to one way of breathing, however after his birth he had a tough time transitioning into the new way to take in a breath.  His respiratory rate was too high, and he was working too hard to keep himself going, and they were afraid he would just tire out…After several agonizing hours of not being able to even hold my little baby boy he was able to come off the oxygen gradually and began once again breathing on his own.

While praying and asking God to show me something through  this difficult time, he reminded me of a friend of mine.  A new believer.  They had experienced a rebirth, drawn freely the breath of new life, and yet they were still struggling with some things that seemed so obviously against God’s will to me.  They may have even known what to do, but not sure how or even why.  They needed a little more help,  some assistance in continuously living out God’s will for their lives.  Someone to come along side and encourage, love and sometimes even explain.  This also is a tough transition.  I was also reminded of myself at this stage in my walk with God.  I had my old ways of living imbedded in me so deep, that I would easily revert back without even realizing it at times. This can also be a sad and alarming sight.  After a while it would even get hard to breath, knowing what I should do, but not knowing how to do it, or why I even should.  It is so important to take the time to walk along side one another and be that support system that we so often need.  To love one another and to be an encouragement and even saying to one another “It’s time to cry out” .  To give the appropriate level of “oxygen”  so that we don’t tire out…..and in time it will  gradually get easier to breath the breath of new life.

Path of Life

When I was a senior in college, it seemed everyone was selecting a life verse. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you..." was the most popular. My favorite chapter when I was in college was Psalm 16, and I selected Psalm 16:11 as my life verse, which also seemed to be very appropriate at a time when I was making many major decisions. "You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." College students are not the only ones facing major decisions. I graduated from college 21 years ago, and there have been few years over that time span when I haven't faced a major decision of some sort - what job to take, what state to live in, which church to join, whether to pursue a graduate degree, whom to marry, what house to buy, whether to pursue adoption or IVF, how many children should we have, etc. Sometimes I have had to wait months or years for the Lord to show the path my life would take.

My husband has been searching for a job that would make use of a degree he recently earned. After submitting 88 applications over the past nine months and interviewing with twelve schools, he received two job offers last week. We had placed our house on the market two months ago, but the Lord prevented us from selling it because He knew that we would not need to move. My husband accepted a nine month contract at a university only 35 minutes from our house. I am so grateful that our loving Father is sovereign and that we now know where we will be living for at least the next ten months. Many people believe that life is random and perceive that to follow the Lord would result in a boring, dreary life. The truth is that God is in control, and when we follow Him our lives are filled with joy. Thank you, Lord!

Joy

I was speaking to one of my dearest friends who has been struggling for the past several months to simply keep her head above water, both financially and emotionally.  Looking at her situation from a purely natural perspective, things have been looking very bleak, even hopeless.  However, after sharing about the desperation of her situation for awhile, she will stop and thank the Lord for what she does have.  Then, in the course of our conversation, something will happen or one of us will say something that will set us both off into a fit of hysterical laughter, until we are hoping that we remembered to wear Depends!  

It seems that no matter what is going on in life, and no matter how horrible the circumstances, God always meets us right where we are, and gifts us with joy (and lots of laughter).  Even though the circumstances haven't changed yet, my friend has told me many times how much those times have helped her to keep moving forward on her path.  The joy of the Lord is her strength!!!

The Mess you're going to Love

Just before we went on vacation, I planted flower beds in front of the house. Our neighbors also arranged to have our shared driveway repaved. When we returned, we found that the contractors hadn't even begun the driveway, groundhogs had eaten my new flowers, and we received a suspiciously large water bill that meant that our pipes were leaking somewhere.

We had planned on putting in a half-turn driveway in before winter. Since it was necessary to change the water, gas & sewage lines to accommodate the new driveway, we moved the driveway plans to, now. As it turned out, the heavy equipment would have crumbled a new driveway, if it had been built. We'd have had to repave it. This would have been an added expense for us.

We discovered that my side flower bed (which the groundhog had ignored--strange, perhaps we got there just before his next meal, his last if I could help it) was right above the place the pipes enter our home, and where a new garage was planned to be built next summer. I dug up the side flowerbed and replanted the flowers in front of the house.

I had run the mower into some old stumps at various times, (I thought I cleared them, all right?) so since the heavy equipment was right there anyway, the contractor removed the evidence of my piloting mistakes while they were at it, along with a tree I actually missed, by the grace of God.

Another nice thing was that the workmen lived right down the road from us. We got to know our neighbors much better.

What looked like a mess turned out to benefit us. I have new flower beds, a leak-free plumbing system, a new driveway and the sight for our garage next year. The embarrassing evidence of my careless mowing and driving is gone. Also, the groundhog is no longer under our home.

Clearly God was showing me that He could fix our planning errors, take care of some maintenance problems, and remove nuisances, all while we were away. Of course I love the mess. Our loving God has made a mess into a masterpiece.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Thank You, Lord.

Love Your Neighbor

  I spent several days this week in training sessions about behaviors and characteristics of Developmental Disabilities. During one of these classes the instructor was talking about how most people's behaviors change depending on the environment. For example, yelling and cheering is an appropriate behavior for a sporting event, but not so much for a library. Our clients may need prompts to help in recognizing when certain behaviors are not acceptable.
  She then mentioned that people may swear at home or in other settings, but that it wouldn't be appropriate at church. As soon as this was mentioned I heard another trainee mutter something to the effect of.... "I swore in church once and was told to never come back." My heart dropped as I thought to myself what a misrepresentation of God had been portrayed to her. Not that I condone swearing in church, but I would think that the purpose of the body of Christ is to point the way to Jesus rather than slamming the door due to an inappropriate behavior.
   Jesus said that He came to heal the broken hearted and instructed us to love our neighbor. However in today's society, some churches demand righteousness before salvation. They hold signs outside of funeral homes and abortion clinics condemning people and telling them how God hates them. They place rules and regulations above relationship making God seem untouchable.
   My question is this.... How can we love our neighbor and point them to Jesus if they aren't even allowed in the door?

"If we did all the things we were capable of doing we would literally astonish ourselves"
This is the theme for our year
"But mom, I can't read all of that"
"I am not that good at math"
"I just don't want to, it's too hard"
And the list goes on, talking ourselves into such thinking
But, If we do, practice what God has given us the ability and heart to do
We may just surprise ourselves
Oh, the glory that would bring to our Lord, giver of life

Borrowed Comfort

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Borrowed Comfort

All Comfort is Borrowed

From others, From God

In and of ourselves

Our need is not satisfied

When no one else is available

We hug something soft

While we think of those,

And of the One Who gave us

Comfort, Who gave us those Others,

If only for a moment

Only for a memory

We are not alone

For we do not have Comfort in storage

Yet we have ample supply in Plenty

To lavish on others when they Need

For God, the Great Comforter

Loves to Give

What only He does not need,

Yet created in Unending Supply,

Like a Thread tied to His Heart,

 Comfort is Ever-born from Love

Smaller parts.

Recently, we visited the famous Museum of Science and Industry, or MSI, in lovely Chicago, IL.  There were grand, sweeping and enormous displays that promised to delight my children.  We saw intricately preserved body parts artfully done, a lovely old steam engine, a great room filled with farm equipment, and a display about the science of weather that would knock your socks off.  We saw the Apollo spacecraft!  It was so amazing and breathtaking.  I loved it all.

After I had left the stress of Chicago driving and was safely back on I-65 headed south, I finally was able to ask Sarah what her favorite part was.  "Oh mom!  When we sat and had that snack and watched the large silver ball roll through the amazing machine!  That was really neat!"  I thought.  hmm.  snack time.... OH!  We had sat, eaten cracker jack from a box, and then we stood and watched a ball bearing glide seamlessly through a really intricate Rube Goldberg machine.  It was in a walk through corner of the lunch room.  It only filled an 10 foot section of wall and unobtrusively went about showing the children all the cute little gizmos that can move a ball forward.  IT was to my eye, nice, but no big whoop.

It was Sarah's favorite part.

Sometimes we get caught up in the big, bright, shiny things and we miss the simple pleasures of life.  Sometimes we need to step back from the grand sweeping things that make us miss the truly beautiful.  It is in the quiet moments that go so often overlooked that we see God.

A promotion?

Six months ago I resigned from my job to be a stay-at-home mom. I started my 20 year career in education as a middle school teacher. In college I quickly learned that many have a very low opinion of the intelligence of those majoring in elementary education. I chose to pursue my bachelor's degree in elementary education because I loved teaching children. Whether or not my career choice had any prestige associated with it did not matter to me. The past few months I have felt self-conscious when someone has asked me what I do for a living. My husband and I are in full agreement that this is what is best for our family, and I know these years with my children are going to fly by too quickly. Recently I was watching a movie based on a true story about a family who survived the tsunami in 2010. The protagonist said she was a medical doctor but now she was staying home with her three boys. The person who asked her what she did for a living said that it sounded like a promotion to him. What a delightful response! The truth of the matter is that it doesn't matter what anyone thinks of my choice to be "just" a mom. I answer to God alone.

That They May Know Him...

In learning to be still before the Lord, I am finding more and more that my heart is yearning to share the good news with those who do not know or truly believe that God loves them passionately.  Many times in my life, I have wondered and felt ashamed at my lack of passion/boldness for sharing Jesus with others.  Now, I just want them to know Him, and how in love with them He is!  I want to see people set free.  I want to see the goodness of the Lord operating in the lives of these precious people who God has been bringing across my path.  We are all broken people, and God wants to see us healed and whole and reaching out to others to bring healing to them as well.  It is my desire to provide a safe atmosphere for people to come and allow themselves to shed their masks and be finally able to be real, and to discover the Lover of their souls.

Simple Pleasures

  Often in the midst of my day I find myself exhausted, running from one task to the next. When things don't run smoothly and I end up with a hiccup in my plans I tend to react out of frustration.  Impatience leads to exasperation which leads to rather unpleasant exclamations..... How dare the universe disrupt my rhythm??? After all there are rooms to clean, bills to pay, errands to run, children to tend to, groceries to buy, dinner to prepare, music to rehearse, and a job to go to.
  Ah yes, the new job.  I recently re-entered the work force.  I work with individuals who have varying degrees of developmental and/or intellectual disabilities. In our society's not so distant past, people who fell into this category were housed in crowded institutions with deplorable conditions. Thankfully society has moved forward and is working toward providing programs and regulations to protect and support them instead of hiding them away and mistreating them.
  In working with some of these individuals, I have had the opportunity to practice patience (after all, it is my job), but oddly enough I find that patience comes easy. It follows compassion.
  One particular individual's action pricked my conscience on one of my work shifts.  I had been assisting him while he washed his hands. Sometimes his staff would quickly dry his hands with paper towels and scoot him along for whatever was coming next. This time as I was helping him dry his hands, he clutched onto the paper towel and wouldn't let me have it back. He looked me in the eye and then slowly began to turn away. I watched as he painstakingly maneuvered his body, then his arm, and finally his hand as he placed the towel in the trash container. He then turned his head back toward me and smiled from ear to ear as if he had just reached the summit of Mount Everest. Something that would be a small task for most of us was a huge accomplishment for him.
  I pray that the picture that was painted for me in that moment will pop into my head the next time that I feel frustrated and impatient. It is too easy to forget that sometimes it is the little things that can bring joy.

Just Beyond the Froot Loops

I am on vacation.  This means lots of extra work but of a different kind.  It means rules are relaxed, bent, broken.  It means Froot Loops for breakfast, lunch, and dinner if I so desire.  So far, I've only made it to breakfast and lunch.  These differences and a measured lawlessness gives me the opportunity to shake up my life and see if it looks any better that way.
This vacation I'm not the only one doing the shaking.  Mass at the Basilica of the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, followed by a tour got me thinking about and reaching for the saints.  I'm wanting more discipline in my life, but not the arbitrary sort I usually cook up.  Anything is better than nothing, but St. Theresa of Avila has taught me the value of training.  I keep feeling drawn to St. Teresa of Lisieux.  I'm learning to trust that feeling.
Somewhere beyond my last bowl of Froot Loops, a new life in a better shape will welcome me closer to home.

Blind Sight

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I have a Vision for you,

My blind child

Do not grope in the dark

Away from Me

I will make your way clear

And guide your steps surely

You will not stumble in My hands

You will flourish

As I guide you

Take your steps in My path

 Turn your face and look at Me

You will See so Clearly

For I have a Vision for you,

And it is Good