The Sparrow

I was hospitalized many times for surgeries and pnumonia each year throughout my childhood from infancy. Because doctors appointments, shots, surgeries, and taking many pills a day were so common to me, I didn't struggle with the "why me" question. The first time I had that question run through my head was when I was lying in the ICU. The most painful part of that experience was when they had to put a tube down my nose periodically to drain the fluid from my lungs. One nurse did it is such a brusque manner that she literally lifted my body off the hospital bed by my nose. It was so painful that I decided right then and there I was not going to push the call button again that I was supposed to push when I needed to be suctioned. I closed my eyes and told myself the next time I opened my eyes I would be in heaven. These thoughts put my body in such distress that an alarm went off. The nurse returned and instead of trying to see what was wrong with me, she just unplugged the machine so the alarm would stop. I thought to myself, I really truly am going to die right now because this nurse is trying to kill me.

The Lord wasn't ready to call me home, and He intervened. The nurse, who had been my nurse for less than an hour, came in and said she was going to be the head nurse for the rest of the shift, and she introduced me to the nurse who was going to be my nurse for the rest of the shift. I immediately silently thanked God for sparing my life. I was unable to talk due to being hooked up to a respirator, so I was very limited in my ability to communicate. I turned my head as best I could to try to help her notice the machine that was unplugged. She figured it out, and as soon as she plugged it back in, the alarm went off. She yelled a code, which caused a team of medical personnel to descend upon my bed. As it says in the lyrics of the hymn based upon Matthew 10:29-30, "His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He's watching me."