I Had a Hmm, Moment.

In my more recent years, God has shown me that the meek will inherit the earth. Meek means, the bit in the mouth of a wild untamed Stallion. I have passions He put within me for many reasons, they are necessary to fulfill my purpose on this earth. However, He has shown me that passions can be misdirected. That it is necessary to allow His bit, to control my mouth.

In the past, I and my daughter were harmed, by things from the pharmaceutical world. This cultivated anger, bitterness and resentment toward the entire world of medicine. My view was horribly distorted and shamefully clouded. My passion was turned toward the natural world.

Then God took me by the hand, and slowly showed me things about the medical world that were good, necessary and helpful to others. He showed me that His own children have been placed within that entity for a purpose. They too were wired, by Him, to do His work to help others. They simply had a different bag of tools, as it were.

I was bewildered. How could a system that has tools that may harm people, also help people, and how could God have His own kids in it? He further showed me. There are substances that do different things in different people. Each person has a different physical, spiritual and mental being, He himself put within each person. He also showed me that the natural worlds choice of tools affect different people differently also. Example: after talking to a herbalist friend, I discovered I needed magnesium to fix my wrestles legs syndrome and heart palpitations. However, I took way too much for my body, and ended up with diarrhea & digestive problems. To fix this, I took mint and backed off my supplementation of magnesium, while adding calcium also. When taking magnesium along with calcium properly, I no longer had heart problems or wrestles legs syndrome. I simply lacked wisdom of how best to use these substances on my own body. But another person, who has little knowledge of the natural world and a bias against it, could have said; "the entire natural world is bad and harmful, it messed you up".

God showed me in His word. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives liberally and without restraint. I had a, Hmm moment. God is The Great Physician, He is not practicing, He knows. He knows every hair on our heads and all the substances He has made, both natural and medical, Hello Sonya! I felt ashamed. Ashamed, that I thought knowledge of natural things could fix anything. Therefore I didn't need God's help, I simply needed full knowledge of what He had made and to use it properly. There I said it. The shameful truth, of what I had allowed anger bitterness and resentment to do to me, my relationship with God and His other children in the medical world. Oh, my Father God, please forgive my arrogance, my sheer stupidity. Please take what I am, and fix me from within to reflect You and the truth of all that You have made.