Day Late and a Dollar Short.

     I have had my entire life a condition that has been referred to as ADD.  Many are saying it isn't real and should not be treated.  You know, they say, it isn't a valid reason for shortcomings that are easily rectified by self-control.  Well, that may well be, but I struggle greatly with something outside of my control.

     I avoid any commitment that has me meeting on second and fourth days of the week during the month.  For example, "Karen! You should come to knitting club, [I crochet, thanks] it meets on the second and fourth Tuesdays of every month! On fifth Tuesdays, we have a party day."  Why?  WHY?  I will never know what numbered day of the month and week it is.  I'm doing really good to know that today is Tuesday!  Let alone where it stands in the month.

     This is EMBARRASSING.  School is so hard on me because it seems that all of the communications involve pieces of paper that must be read, signed, and returned on certain days.  Fourth Thursdays are Kindergarteners color co-ordinated clothing day!  Have your kindergartener wear the right color of the month on the fourth Thursday!  It really is difficult on me.  Invariably I will forget and as I watch the orange clad kindergarteners go in while Sarah wears green, I die a thousand deaths.

     So, I'm late.  I'm sorry.  When I do finally agree to a commitment, and learn the routine, I usually do get it right after much forgetting.  It just takes time.

     I've learned that kindergarteners are creative and resilient.  ("Mommy I made an orange breast plate during crayon time!")  I've learned who truly wants to help and who truly loves me.  I've learned to advocate for myself.  I've learned to let go and forgive myself.  Of course I absolutely know that God is backing me and helping me to remember the next time.  I must truly rely on His strength not my own in this area.

     I do have the capacity to make it work most days, but on the days I blow it, please know, I don't mean to.  I'm doing the best I can.  I'll get it right next time.  I promise I will.