Blurry.

OK.  I wear glasses.  Thick.  Huge.  Wide.  Glasses.  I have worn glasses since I was 5.  There was that brief stint in hard contact lenses, but for at least 90% of my life since age 5--glasses.

There have been plastic ones, wire ones, big ones, small ones, red ones, purple ones, tortoise shell, and gold.

I have hated them all.

They make my nose slimy.  They make my eyes look small.  When I was little, I was called four eyes.  I have toyed with the idea of lasik, but really, what if they blind me and my vision is even worse after?????

Of course, this is the part where the obvious thing to say would be, I can afford glasses, I can see, God loves me, and all that stuff.  That is all very true.  I should be grateful and happy to see and thrilled with my lot in life.  But truly, if I could ditch them I totally would.  in .  a . hearbeat.

Why am I so dissatisfied?  .....   vanity  .......

There I said it.  I'm pretty and I want people to see my face.  

I then think of my Grandmother Donnelly.  Some of you knew her and you should be so lucky as to have known her.  She was STUNNING.  except.....her teeth, they were a little crooked.

She hated them every day of her life.

I have no picture of her laughing, stunning, open-mouthed smile.  I try so hard to remember it.  The enthusiastic, glorious sound of it echos in my ears and, oh, how I want to see it.  Yet, as I thumb through the picture books.  It isn't there.    Every time the cameras came out her mouth closed.  The shy smile she had perfected came out.  

My lesson is to rock my glasses.  Try my hardest to find anything even remotely fashionable and even if they still end up blocking half of my face, so be it.  

After all.

I can afford glasses, I can see, God loves me, and all that stuff.