Sun!

     I woke up sick last week, after coming home early from work the day before, also because I was sick. I called my primary care physician. He told me that it was sun poisoning. The only cure he offered was to drink lots of water. Probably because he knew I would not take a drug if he offered it. I was relieved to know what it was and immediately went home to drink some coffee. I had not had any for days and was in need of it to keep my digestive system moving properly.
   I got sun poisoning when we went to Florida on vacation last month. I took precautions. I used sun protection on my face, but only a low one for my body. I had a tan before I left because I did not want that very thing to happen. I love the sun & feel better when I am in it....except when I'm in it for two days in a row for over six hours each day, that is. I got every symptom; swelling in the face, fever and chills, confusion, faintness, headache, dehydration, itchy skin & upset stomach. I couldn't even see correctly for a while and had shooting pains at times.
    Before I knew for sure what the problem was, my mom said, "Maybe you have shingles". I have had shingles before. I got rid of shingles in five days before, no drugs. Only loads of water, 4 L-lysine every few hours and nothing but meat & veggies to eat because sugar and acid feed shingles.
    My symptoms are all gone except the itchy skin. I feel like I have chicken pox. It's awful. I have had boat loads of water, coconut water, taken L-lysine like candy, probiotics and more water. I'm still digging & itching. My only relief is a half hour after I take L-lysine for a few hours. Then it starts again. The other bad thing is that my rockin tan is almost gone.
    Will I go in the sun again? Oh yeah! I want the vitamin D3 and vitamin C from it. I'm about to go in my attic for a redneck sauna just to feel it's warmth and sweat out toxins, no really. However, I will take more precautions and cover up when I can go in the sun in the future. Which will probably be next summer. Everything God makes is good. The sun is no exception. However, moderation of these good things, is best. I'm so glad I don't have to take God in moderation. One may have as much of God as they like and there are no bad side effects to be had. In heaven, the sun will be out all the time, and we won't be poisoned or get cancer from it. Looking forward to heaven. Praise His name!

New old friends.

    I am constantly surprised at how the internet works. Sometimes you lose family and people you've never met become family. God has given me the priviledge of leading a group of lovely women in a Good Morning Girls Bible study. We are spread from Canada to California, Maine to Florida, and all points in between. My group is unique because we all bond over the fact that we all have special needs kids.
     This very day, God has provided me an opputunity to visit two friends I have made through Good Morning Girls. I have laughed and cried with both of these women who have become dear to me.
     I am so pleased that God is working off my sharp edges and replacing them with shepherd's heart. I go to meet them now excited that we have really encouraged each other and fully expecting a relaxing lunch.
    It took me this long to realize that this is a place to either repell people or connect with them. I chose connection.

Resignation

 Her alarm goes off. She quickly shuts it off and checks the time. The tasks of the day immediately rev up in her mind. She takes a deep breath and simply prays "God, please be with us today, and draw our hearts closer to you and to each other."  Another deep breath.... Time to wake the kids.
   She wakes them and gives them instructions to get ready, and then she jumps in the shower. As soon as she finishes, she calls out to the youngest to come to take her shower. Instead of compliance, she is met with repeated screams of "I am NOT taking a shower!!!". She feels anger creeping in as she repeats her request. Still met with defiance, the request now becomes a demand.
   A power struggle ensues..... over mismatched clothes, backtalk, and hygiene. Progress is slowly made as the youngest at least gets dressed (no shower because now they are out of time). Then finally... a knock down, drag out, smack fest between her daughters over which dog should be in which kennel pushes her mounting frustration over the edge and then erupts as it spews out in all kinds of ugliness. Yelling, scolding, shaming, swatting, followed immediately by guilt and disbelief at the things that were flying out of her mouth. She knows she shouldn't have said that or done this. She feels like a failure. If she was good Mom.....a successful Mom....her kids would listen, right?  They would cooperate. They would be loving and compassionate toward each other. They would be respectful. They would sneeze glitter. Their giggles would be like the sound of ringing hand bells...
   She is late for her appointment.....again. As soon as they return home, she retreats in order to recompose herself. It is only 9:30 am and she still has the whole day ahead of her. She prays. She confesses her shortcomings to God. Not that He isn't already aware, but to let Him know that she knows her own faults. She tells Him that based on how her children behave....she must be a failure as their Mom. She tries to turn in her resignation. And then....
    ....She hears Him asking "What about me? Am I a failure? My children don't listen. My children defy me in their stubbornness. My children power struggle with me. My children lash out at each other over unimportant things".....It dawns on her that SHE is His stubborn child, but her faults and shortcomings have no bearing on His Sovereignty. He is still God. He is still her loving Father........
    ...She still resigns.....
.......She resigns herself to make amends in the form of chocolate chip cookies.

Because I love them

Put me in a room with a child and fifteen minutes later I will love them.  Some kids it doesn't take fifteen seconds.  When I find adults difficult to take I imagine them at five years of age and that almost always helps.  I love the mysteries in each person, and I'm hooked on watching them unfold.

I grew up in a very structured world that had very clear ideas about what kind of people God made and how everyone should express the character God had given them.  The older I get and the more people I watch blooming and growing, the more I realize we really are too limited to know what God would do and how he would do it.  I'm  trying to give up categorizing and controlling in favor of observing and appreciating other people.  

I know how much I love it when someone does that for me.

Grateful

Life has been so very busy lately.  Working, running North for church and band performances, South for family and band rehearsals and ministry and more work...busy, busy, busy!!!  At times it seems as though my husband and I are constantly heading in opposite directions and barely have time to speak to one another.  

A few nights ago Philip spent the night away from home, and when he called to tell me goodnight, I told him that it was reminiscent of when we were courting.  My heart leaped when he said, "I'd court you all over again!"  As a matter of fact, those words resound in my head on a daily basis.  I cherish every moment that we have together, and I love that he does the same.  We recently discovered that we had a weekend with no commitments and when I was checking with him to see if we had anything planned, he responded with, "SHHH!!!  Don't tell anyone!"  Five minutes later he had three people try to make plans, and he turned them down, telling them that we were going into hiding for the weekend.  That speaks volumes to me, as one of my love languages is "quality time".  When I see him purposely set aside time and guard it fiercely against the onslaught of endless activities,  nobody could ever convince me that I was anything other than deeply loved and highly valued!  I am so very grateful, and I breathe a prayer of thanks to the Lord every day for blessing me with a love that has shown itself to be "exceedingly, abundantly above all that I could ask or imagine..." 

Surprise!

    Three weeks ago, we drove my mom back to where she lives with my sister in Va. As we did, our car broke down. My sister and her husband graciously offered their van to take to FL to complete our trip. There were no rental cars available, so we took them up on it. Our car has been there ever since, and we needed to go get the car. Conveniently, the weekend after our return was also the weekend of my mom's surprise 70th birthday party. My sister Cheryl had also planed to get Sarah that weekend to go to her home. So, we were all at Lynn's home for very good reasons but the most important was mom's party. However she was completely unaware of this at the time.
    My mom's friend was to come get her and take her some place while we went to the church to set up. Her friend was late and it made us late getting to the church. However, when we got there, we had our choice of where to have the event. An air conditioned room that was already set up, or a pavilion that was totally not. We took the room.  All was set up & the last person arrived, just before mom got there. Mom was very surprised. It turned out perfectly.
    Only God could plan our car to brake down, Cheryl to have time off and want to get Sarah, Sarah to have stayed with Lynn while Paul and I went back home, all necessitated going to Lynn's home, and the church only had that weekend available. This all worked out for mom's party to be a total surprise. Sometimes God surprises us too.
    A man makes his plans, but his steps are ordered by The Lord.

The Same.

     This morning I read several Bible passages about love. I need more in my life. The fact that I have become too dogmatic and isolating for my own good, has recently become apparent to me. Love has nothing to do with being right all the time, but everything to do with what God wants.
     I hear all the time from people who have not really read the Bible deeply that the vengeful God of Israel could not possibly be the same as the God who sent us Jesus in the Christian Bible. This morning's paassages spoke the exact opposite. This God is One. This God loves profoundly.
     From Exekiel 33:10 and on God makes an passionate plea for the wicked to turn from sin because He is not willing that any should perish. He sent Exekiel to be a watchman and warn that God was upset with His people's sin. He sent Exekiel to plead for them to return to God and forsake idols of unrighteousness. His reasons are, He loves His people, wants to feed them personally, and like a father speaking to a child He says, "Do not make me punish you for this, turn away from wrong."
     In Romans 8 Paul tells us we can not turn from wrong doing, but on this point, God again made a way. Not wanting that any should perish, God gave us His righteousness. The worst of all sinners, even I, can have flat out righteousness that gains salvation from the death of Jesus and belief in His resurrection. Out of love, He said our past was over we could have His life. To read of grace and love in both parts of the Bible is to truly understand the plan God has for us. Believe and be saved today.

   Here is the passage from Exekiel 33:10-16 that shows us the loving God of Israel:

10 “And you, son of man, say to the house of Israel, Thus have you said: ‘Surely our transgressions and our sins are upon us, and we rot away because of them. How then can we live?’ 11 Say to them, As I live, declares the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live; turn back, turn back from your evil ways,for why will you die, O house of Israel?

12 “And you, son of man, say to your people, The righteousness of the righteous shall not deliver him when he transgresses, and as for the wickedness of the wicked, he shall not fall by it when he turns from his wickedness, and the righteous shall not be able to live by his righteousnesswhen he sins. 13 Though I say to the righteous that he shall surely live, yet if he trusts in his righteousness and does injustice, none of his righteous deeds shall be remembered, but in his injustice that he has done he shall die. 14 Again, though I say to the wicked, ‘You shall surely die,’ yet if he turns from his sin and does what is just and right, 15 if the wicked restores the pledge, gives back what he has taken by robbery, and walks in the statutes of life, not doing injustice, he shall surely live; he shall not die.16 None of the sins that he has committed shall be remembered against him. He has done what is just and right; he shall surely live.

Running on Empty

   

There are many days that I roll out of bed and hit the ground running. I fly from one task or appointment to the next rarely breaking stride. Lately, however, I find myself simply running out of steam. I fail to accomplish what I set out to do and end up frustrated. This is one of those days.
    I was late for my first appointment thanks to an uncooperative child. I had to cancel my next appointment due to locking myself out of the house and having to send my daughter through a window. My third appointment lasted longer than I had planned for. After losing my keys for the second time in one day and then driving 35 minutes (arriving 15 minutes late), my fourth appointment was cancelled due to an illness.
   In the midst of all of this, I was dealing with a whole mess of what I will call "stuff". Today feels like a total bust. Nothing accomplished. Nothing resolved. Exhausted. Depleted. Defeated.
   Today is coming to a close, and I am already trying to plan for what is to come when my eyes open tomorrow morning. These are the times when I desperately need to be refilled and recharged with hope for a new day. So for tonight, I will find comfort in Romans 15:13 which says "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit".

As Big as Christmas

Secrets are always a burden, even the good ones. Right now I have a secret the size of Christmas. All I want to do is talk about it, but the minute I do, it's over. So, I'm sitting on the secret like a dragon sits on its gold horde, zealously refusing to allow a peep to escape and roaring with fire when anyone else makes a peep. The secret is tattered and torn with such loving care, but still mine, mostly.

Spiritual secrets can be like that. You have a new insight into God, or your relationship with him takes on a new dimension. A spiritual practice begins a deep renewal in your life. All you want to do is share your secret. The burden of carrying such joy seems unbearable, but the moment you let it go, it's gone. You haven't allowed it its full time to work. You shared before you understood. It can feel like you'll never understand.

Have faith that even imperfectly kept secrets will have their perfect work in you. After all he who began the good work in you is known for perfection, to imperfectly quote a phrase. Keep going even when your bubble is burst. 

The Passion of His Heart

We are beginning a journey to reach the hearts of the broken, the outcast, and the hurting.  Our heartbeat in general has been to share the absolute goodness and grace of God, and to allow His life and love to flow through us to those who may not feel comfortable walking into a church.  

In gathering together to seek the face of God and His direction for this new venture, the question has been put to us, "If you had the world's ear for just 5 minutes, what would you want to say?"  A few have begun to share what the Lord has placed on their hearts, and I have been seeking how to share what is on mine. Many times, my inspiration comes from music and movement, and this time is no different.  The song Hung The Moon speaks from the perspective of the Uncreated One, who created us for the purpose of living in intimate relationship with Him, and reveals His passion and desire for that relationship, and His willingness to do whatever it takes to remove all barriers and to restore that level of intimacy with us.  Please take a moment to close your eyes and listen to the song, and hear His heartbeat for you...

Kate Miner - Hung The Moon

Beauty in His Sight

    As a child I craved attention. As I grew up I learned that being an attractive female gained the attention I craved. So I dressed as provocatively as allowed by my parents, which was not at all really. I was a size 4 at 22 years old and blessed with attractive looks. I was not blessed with confidence though. I thought if men liked me and wanted me, I was worth something.
    Then God changed me and I didn't want that attention. Desiring attention from all men went away and I became disgusted to the point of being ill, when guys would leer at me. I gained weight, I guess subconsciously, to better avoid unwanted attention. Now I'm a size 12, dress very modestly and don't take as much time with my looks. I don't get as much attention. I don't like my size but it's comfortable.
    The other day a young attractive guy winked at me. I was like, What? I said something to my coworker about it. She said, of course he winked at you, your beautiful. I said, I use to be beautiful, but not now. Her mouth opened as she breathed in loud and hard. She said, you ARE beautiful, stop putting yourself down! Later that night I thought about my earlier life and how I had been utterly vain, on many diets, spent thousands of dollars on beauty products and expected every man's attention, then wondered why, if I didn't have it. Was something wrong with me, was my hair not in place, what? Later, I was seriously bothered by getting attention. Could I find a middle ground?
    Then it came to me. I, can look at an attractive guy and say, "Wow, great handy work God, what an artist You are". I can simply appreciate what He has made without desiring. I can't control what others do with their eyes or thoughts. So why try to eliminate, possible problems, with extra weight that could cause me to be unhealthy? God made my body and He doesn't make mistakes. I don't need extra weight to guard against looks from men. I can dress modestly but attractively, and let God deal with others thoughts. Then it really hit me. I better get with that program, cause I just turned 40 and I may not have my looks much longer. So with God's help, I am going to be comfortable in my own skin, and say thank you to God for His handy work in me. When I say I am not beautiful, I insult my maker. I am a princess, so I may as well look like one. May we all see through God's eyes and appreciate His handy work, we are beautiful in His sight.

Simple Pleasure.

     Summer break was always my MOST favorite time of year. My joy at watching my children soak up days of little pressure and responsibility parallels mine when I had summer vacation off. Even though this time of year is my busiest, I cherish every moment. I have been jealously guarding their glowing screen time for I am THAT mom. (RE: Rabid and Extreme.)
     God has given me a clear goal with my kids. It has been a hard one. No kids, you aren't getting a Game Gadget 3000. Oh! How I wanted to give them one! God said no. The whining insued. I looked up at God and He gave me strength to not break down and buy it. I wanted to be the cool mom. The mom that gave their kids the best gifts. Admidst the loud complaints I kicked them outside. Again at God's clear leading. They scream for 20 minutes every day about it.
     There have been pay offs. Big ones. My children surprised me no end when the most cantankerous one piped up at lunch, "Sarah, (his oldest sister) remember that game we played in your closet with the lights? Let's take Ellanor (youngest sister) in there and play that really great game we made up." After lunch is tv time. He'd rather play with his sisters! Then we went to the park. My kids started spontaneously rolling down the hill because that is what Buttercup did to Wesley in the book they just READ. (ok we did watch the film after the book was managed, who wouldn't?) My son and daughters laughed as they called out, "AS YOU WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiish!" (read The Princess Bride the backstory on Fezzik alone is worth the author's rambling about the movie; that part you can freely skip.) Last night my children found the most DELICIOUS and AMAZING wild blackberries because I "80's mom style" told they had to go out and play in this crazy-mild, summer evening. My children became explorers.
    Yes. This has been hard on me and them. "MOOooooom I am the only one in my class without a phone." Says MOOOoooom, "You have a phone. It is called a land line. Your friends can call it anytime." MOOOoooom, all my friends have Game Gadget 3000 with earbuds!" Says Mom, "Great in 5 years time your hearing will be WAAAAAAAAAAy better than all of your friends."
           ****************You're so MEAN MOM!****************
     God strengthened my own weak spots. These are the tools that helped me get to the good side. You don't have to start where I have. But start somewhere. Use a loud timer to limit the glowing addiction time, kick them outside and make them earn the time they play on computer by an agreed upon time they play outside. The delicate process of unplugging their little, forming, precious minds from things that go BEEEPLYBOOP to things that really inspire them is so totally worth it.

No End In Sight

As Christians we have been called to love others. Sounds pretty simple, right? It is....as long as you love from a distance and equate politeness with love. But what about when God starts stirring your heart towards folks who are more difficult to love? What about when you feel like He wants you to offer more than a smile and an encouraging word? What about when you start looking past behaviors and really start seeing hurting hearts? What about when you stop passing judgement and get into the nitty gritty of someone's life? 
   But when you start putting those thoughts into action, it can get messy. You can get hurt. You will definitely be taken advantage of at some point. You will feel frustrated. Your faith will be challenged. You will have those moments where you wonder what in the world you were thinking to get involved in the first place. You may even retreat for a time to regroup and question if this is really what you are supposed to be doing.
  How do I know??  Because I have been there. I am there. And yet, I still feel called. Even if my heart is broken. Even if they don't bless me. Even when they don't love me back. Even when I think I have nothing else to offer. Even though I may never see the end result.

Galations 6:9 "Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. " NAS

Change is good. Change is good. Change is good.

When I was younger, we had moved twice, but when we returned to my mother's  hometown I thought we'd be there forever.  We did stay for nine years, which is forever in a child's life, but not quite long enough. I had ambitions about cheer captain and Student Council President when we suddenly moved to a suburb of Washington DC. It felt like the end of my life. We were away from my grandparents, in a new culture, and no one cared to know the Assistant Principal's kid, but that's where I found my husband. He is worth it. Change is good.

Recently that wonderful husband came home to tell me it was time to get serious about finding a new job. We had finally settled into a great groove with friends, homeschool, church, and all the connections that make life happy. Kurt's news was unwelcome. The pin in the map kept changing as he applied for this and that job. We could have landed anywhere, but he found a great job a short distance from Ann Arbor. Ann Arbor is a dream location, a possible destination for retirement. The possibility of graduate study is something we both hope for, that made it worth packing our bags right there. Change is good.

Recently, three members of The Shepherd's fish have found that posting is getting in the way of more primary callings. They love the blog, but have to get priorities in order. I have been so blessed to reconnect with Ruth Kennedy, Heather Bowman, and Nicole HIll through this blog. I always knew they were sources of great wisdom, but getting to hear it every eight days was to be nurtured and to grow in so many ways. I hope you have found them equally enlightening. They may drop by to substitute for current writers or for a special project, but for now family and health have compelled them to step aside. If your life has been particularly touched by one of these ladies, take a moment to write a  comment on the post you love best from that author. We are in the process of finding other women with wisdom. I hope you will find change is good.

Solve Troubles, and Deal With Me!

    Lately, my life has gone from a problem, to, then it's fixed, weird! A riding mower lands on my butt and now I sit awkwardly as it heals. However, my driving of said tractor has improved. Sarah's Birthday party, had issues with people not coming, then they could come, but wait, then others are sick so they can't come, but, we can see them later and have their undivided attention, cool! Our car didn't seem to have enough room for everything we wanted to take on our trip. Then as we packed the car, we found out we had plenty of room. Probably why the Mafia uses Cadillac's, one could fit several bodies in the trunk, or in our case, lots of stuff. Then, this same car's oil couldn't be changed because the place that changed it the last time stripped the plug, but wait, it's the same place that is trying to change it this time, and they have insurance. The garage has the part and can change it the day before our trip. The job is done and were on our way, yay! So, after getting half way to our first stop over for the night, this same car just quits. I mean knocks out entirely. Then it starts back, up. Then dies two more times but we get to our first destination. We start out to go to our last destination. I quits again. So we go back to our family we stayed with. It stops short and won't start. The cavalry arrives to pick Sarah & I up while Paul waits for a tow truck. We go to a car rental place. They have nothing available. That place calls another place. They only have one vehicle, but it needs an oil change first....really? Right then, my sister calls and says, "take our van". So we ride with even more room and now don't have to rent a truck to get tables when we get there. Wow! Who but God could do all that?
    So have I been a drama queen and freaked out over any of this? Yep, totally! Until the car stuff, why? Probably because I have a combination of battle fatigue, and why freak out because it doesn't help any way, thing going on now. My personality is generally to freak out now, then deal with the fact that I look like a total idiot, because of overreaction later, type. However, God is shifting things. He is turning on the light bulb. As if on a dimmer switch that He is slowly making brighter.
    Will I ever be the type to calmly deal with things that are a pain in the butt, sometimes literally, taking problems in stride? I would like to think so, and those around me really hope so. However, moving toward that is at least stepping in the right direction. I am understanding that everything happens for a reason, and God really does have a clue as to how to solve troubles. Thankfully, He also knows how to deal with me. Imagine that!

Learning to Sit

Working around behavior problems is one of the great things about homeschooling. My youngest doesn't do sit still and work. He does wiggle and work, walk around and work, and climb and work, especially if the work is highly interactive and fun. Teaching him is a challenge, but the biggest challenge is to get him to allow someone else to teach him. This is most evident at church.

Every week we put on quite the show. On good weeks he gets moved around a lot, on bad weeks, he has taken off clothes and crawled under pews. In our debriefing after church, he always wants to do better, but that seldom turns into action. Even when he's had clear moments of repentance, he can't seem to make the necessary changes.

I can sympathize. There's a couple courses of obedience before me, and I'm ducking them rather than learn to sit. These new disciplines seem unpleasant, difficult, even frightening. I'm quite pleased to pull off the little spiritual development I have. I don't need more. Until I do. The new strength will be absolutely necessary as I enter this new time in my life and its incumbent weakness. I have to learn how to sit.

I Declare.....

   A couple of years ago, my family took a long weekend trip to explore Williamsburg, VA. My husband and I both love anything having to do with our nation's history, especially the history of our founding and movement toward independence.
   We spent time in Jamestown, Yorktown, and Colonial Williamsburg. I loved exploring those old buildings and imagining what life would have been like during the 1700's. I quickly decided that I probably would not have made a very good colonist. I like my air conditioning and mini van too much.
   One of the buildings we went into was the original court house. The curator told us of the history of the building and the proceedings that took place there. As she started talking about the events leading up to the Revolution, my ears perked up. I got cold chills as she walked us toward the front steps of the courthouse and told us that on July 25, 1776 a copy of the Declaration of Independence arrived in Williamsburg. The town folks were gathered just outside the courthouse and the document was formally proclaimed over the city finally declaring that we were a free nation.
   If you ever have the opportunity to visit Williamsburg....make sure you stop at the courthouse and stand on those steps. Take a deep breath and see if you can smell the gunpowder from the muskets that were fired in celebration, and ......if you listen closely you just may be able to hear the shouts of freedom that came from the lips of our ancestors. I promise that your heart will swell with pride as you imagine being there at that moment to hear the day of our freedom declared.

 

Artsy Summer Thoughts.

Galloping play time.
Rollicking laughter.
Splashing pool and spurting lawn sprinkler.
Simple crafts on rainy days.
Look! A Turtle!
Mommy do you see my inch worm?
I'll name all of them "Inchy."
Sunshine that is warm on my face.
Grass that smells like children.
Familiar creak and groan of the swing set.
Jeans fallen apart now cut offs.
Grubby hands reaching for "popsticles."
Deer with fawn and hopping bunnies.
Red hunks of perfect meat sizzling over charcoal fire.
Fireworks.
Gratitude for so many rich blessings.
Tears for fallen. Tears for those in chains.
Wishes. Prayers. Dreams. 
Whispers of a God that loves us

Change

I strongly dislike change.  I quite often have only made changes in my life when forced to.  Most of the instances that I can think of have resulted in a positive outcome, but it never seemed to make it easier to make the change.  

Once again I find myself in a season of change.  I had a strong sense before Philip and I married that we would one day end up back in our hometown.  We had no idea of the timeline, but now it seems that it will be sooner than later.  We have noticed over the last few months that our vehicles are traveling homeward much more frequently than ever, and we have begun to sense the Lord saying, "It's time."  As a matter of fact, a friend recently called Philip and told him that he had been praying for us and he said that the Lord had simply told him, "It's time."  How's that for confirmation? 

Now, I have no idea where exactly this will all lead, but I do know that many things in our life are about to change.  A new job. Another move.  A new house.  New opportunities to see the goodness of God in the land of the living.  I think I'm actually excited about the coming change...

Waiting!

    I am at work finished with my job but still waiting for the internet tech person to show up at the office. It's my daughter's birthday and I want to go home. The only bright spot, is that I have time to work on this blog, ahead of time. I just want to smack the company for making me wait though!
    We have been trying to get this put in for over a month. It's the, oh I think sixth time, they have made an appointment to come put in a second router. I'm like really? Today you choose to do this! I want to spend some time with Sarah, I am buying her a special dessert and pizza for dinner on the way home, since we already had a party. My mom is in for a visit, which is a special treat, but I haven't had much time with her. On top of all that, I must mow the lawn today. After the tractor landing on my butt thing, it takes longer because I am cautious. I like life and am still in pain thanks.
    Oh Lord, please help me to be pleasant to the tech person and not unkind or impatient. It's not his fault the company scheduled us later in the day.
    They that wait upon the Lord, He shall renew their strength. They shall mount up on wings like Eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint....... Just wish this verse also said, they shall not be frustrated and annoyed with others that make them wait and God will give them back the time they lost while doing so. I looked, that's not in there any place. An hour later, STILL WAITING!
    I called, no one is coming today, again. Um, I'm very mad right now. There has to be some reason this would be happening though. I will forgive this person for not showing up but just give me a few minutes to get over it. They can wait, for forgiveness........Never mind, I'm not waiting to forgive, because it doesn't help them, it helps me. I forgive, I'm done waiting, I'm going home.