We finally received our new living-room furniture. Talk to me baby! Paul had shoulder surgery Feb. 18. We needed a new recliner for him to sleep in, since after surgery, he can't lay flat. Our other recliner didn't have any padding left on the foot rest. Just a board with a thin piece of fabric over it. Also, underneath one arm, staples were exposed, yikes! It had served it's purpose and came free with our house. I am not complaining, really.
We went shopping for a new recliner or double reclining love seat. Paul is having surgery on each shoulder, several months in between, he'll be sleeping in it a while. All of the recliners are right handed, which presents a problem when his right arm is incapacitated by surgery. We found a comfy chair that reclines by the push of a button. With a stick, Paul could use his left hand to operate the button when his right hand was not able to. It had a double recliner couch that matched. I really liked it, but didn't want to spend the money at the time. We ordered the recliner and went on our way, with the knowledge that if the ordered chair was not in by surgery time, we could take the floor model.
The week before surgery, I called the furniture store. They couldn't deliver till the day after surgery. What? Paul told them to cancel the order. Then they said they could deliver the day of surgery instead. Not optimal, but that's the best they could do. They were also having a Presidents day sale. We decided to get the matching double recliner couch too. I love sales!
Our neighbor made Paul a custom rod to push the button on his electric recliner using a golf club he had cut the end from and put a rubber stop into the end. However, Paul found the couch to be more suitable then the chair, since the button can't be seen, because of all the padding on his arm to hold it into one place. He had trouble finding the button with the rod. Sarah thinks she has laid claim to the electric recliner. What? I have kicked her out, and I took the TV remote too, ridiculousness. Scooby has a bit of trouble getting into either piece of furniture because they are higher but he likes the couch much better then our old pleather (plastic that looks like leather) couch.
God caused us to wait for the sale on the couch, but buy it too, so that Paul would have everything he needed. Also, we now each have a recliner to relax in. Family movie night is much more relaxing. Before, God gave us furniture that was used. This time He gave us new. Thank you God for all blessings, for each are needed and appreciated.
Ten years ago she had entered my world like a whirlwind. Life with her was like riding a gasoline filled roller coaster that had lost its brakes. She was the reason that social workers changed their cell phone numbers and foster parents quit. In our house (and probably a lot of others) she is still the poster child for "what not to do".
She moved in and unpacked her baggage. Drug abuse and distribution. Alcoholism. Gang and domestic violence. Pregnancies and abortion. Pregnancies and deliveries. Reckless behavior. Suicide attempts. Police involvement. Parole requirements.
Because of her... I literally chased a grown man out of my house at 4 A.M. He jumped off of the roof and over a fence to get away. Because of her... My van was stolen by her drunk friends and wrecked. Because of her... Police were dispatched to my home at 2 A.M. when one of her "associates" burst into my basement and put a gun to her head. Because of her... Over $2000 went missing out of my bank account in one night.
I could go on and on....
I sat politely and listened as she spoke to the group. She was just four days out of prison (what did she do now?). She had nowhere to go (that's what you get). She lost custody of her son (he deserves better). She wanted to die (can't believe she is still alive). She needs to change her life (heard it all before). She thinks that God must have a purpose for her life ( o_O ). She wants to go to church with me tomorrow (gulp). Does she have to dress up??? Because she only has a pair of jeans and a couple of tops. She doesn't even have a coat.
Deep breath.....
Who am I to decide if she is sincere or if this is just one more failed attempt to change? Can I see how God is moving on her heart??? Who am I??? I am a human. Just like her. I am a mom. Just like her. I am seeking answers. Just like her. I am struggling financially. Just like her. At times I feel alone. Just like her. I am one poor choice away from wrecking my world. Just like her. I am passionately loved by God. Just like her.
No. I can't fix her. No. I can't force her to see or do things my way. No. I don't know how God is going to rescue her. No. I can't offer her a place to stay. No. I don't have any money to give to her. Yes. I can give her a ride. Yes I can sit with her at church. Yes. I can greet her with a smile and a hug. Yes. I can open my closet and give her some of my clothing. NO STIPULATIONS - Not because she earned it or deserves it.
Who am I??? ...... I am the embodied heartbeat of God.
I saw him on the end of the row across the aisle from me. The sermon was excellent but this man kept me me distracted. There was something in his death grip on his chair, the keys he alternately jangled and grabbed, the hat he wrung in his hands. There was a familiarity, like of a story I had heard. It seemed he was having a moment. Then I heard the Voice. The one that is so familiar to me that I snap my head up and listen with every fiber. The One Voice said, "Go, and pray for that man."
I attend a church that stuff like this happens often. But, you know, it never really seems to happen too much to me. The battle began. A long drawn out two syllabled "Go-od, (you know like a teen says, Mo-om) I do not know that guy. I'm a girl. They encourage us to pray for people in our own gender. I don't wanna. Go-od. Really?" "Yes. Go, and pray for that man, take your friend, Kevin (who was sitting next to me)." And so it went for the rest of the sermon. I felt like that famous friend of Ferris Beuller. "I'll go. I'll go. I'll go. I'll go." The battle raged on until the prayer portion of the evening came. It was make or break time.
I told my husband, Pete, to get the kids, I grabbed poor Kevin and ran to that guy. "Hi, I'm Karen, God really wants me to pray for you if that is ok with you. Is there anything I can pray for you right now?" His next words took my breath away and made Kevin's eye's fly open. "I need strength on my journey. I feel like God has always been with me, but I am deciding between Christianity and Islam. My friend brought me last week and this is my second time." Inwardly I begged, "GOD! Give me words!" I prayed a simple prayer for strength and guidance and afterwards I answered his questions. He said he still wasn't ready to commit, but that he was truly considering what I said. I gave him my information and invited him to small group.
Then I remembered the story. My grandfather whom I affectionately called, "Pappy," had sat in a pew wringing his hands and fighting with Jesus. The love of his wife compelled him to come for many years to the church and the love of God finally compelled him out of his pew, down the aisle, and into the arms of Jesus. The nudges we feel from God seem hard to validate in the moment, but every time I have followed them, it was just the right thing to do.
I was reading and reflecting and this thought came through like a wave. Hitting me hard and taking my breath back. You see, in life their are these vultures that circle overhead. They want to pick and nip, and mock and mimic. Their whole life is spent on hovering around those they wish to tear apart and devour.
Though we have decided, resolved and planted our feet firm. Firm in the fight for truth and love. Firm in the spreading of grace that comes when the vultures leave. They still circle above.
Now, I have to also make a choice. To stand firm. To protect. To let the love pour out after it has overflowed. To create an environment where my little flock can grow and stretch. Where we can disciple and build trust. Trust in our great heavenly father. Who oversees all things and speaks us into our very existence.
My focus Lord, shall be on my flock. Not on the vultures in my head. God, help me to pour out, and break the chain of pride that wells up and holds tight. Use me, oh Lord, to lead to you. Your compassion and salvation will set us free. Free to fly above the vultures that be.
The first man I fell in love with has now been my husband for 12 1/2 years. We met at a ballroom dancing class seventeen years ago, and the teachers at school talked about how I was "glowing" in those early days of our relationship. Similarly, people often seem to be glowing after accepting Christ as their personal Savior. My daughter became a Christian in the fall of 2012, and ever since then she has frequently been talking to her younger brother, Ian, about his need for a Savior. Although I applauded her concern for the salvation of others, he was just too young at the time to comprehend the gospel. If I asked him if he was a sinner, he always told me that he had never sinned. On January 20 Ian came up to me and announced that he was going to pray and ask God to wipe his heart clean. This time when I asked him if he had ever sinned, he was able to list some of his transgressions. He prayed and asked God to "wipe his heart clean and come into his body." After Ian prayed, he told me that he was so happy that he would be in Heaven with God, Mommy, and Nadia some day, and he was also glad that he would never meet Goliath. Evidently Goliath is the biggest "bad guy" in his four-year-old world. Although he seemed to be very sincere and seemed to comprehend what Christ did on his behalf, I had some doubts as to whether he truly was mature enough to take this step. Those fears have all been alleviated because he certainly has had that first love "glow." That first day he ran around the house and exclaimed to his father and sister that he was a Christian. Almost every day since then he has talked about his decision. What a delight it is to be around a new Christian! I never want the Lord to say that I lost my first love as was said of the church of Ephesus in Revelation 2. We love because He first loved us. What a Savior!
This year has been especially cold. My husband has suffered multiple injuries and it's very difficult for him to deal with the pain this cold weather brings to his previous injuries. Also, the public school system here in West Virginia, is not a good fit for our daughter Sarah. I have been praying about what to do, for over a year. Then, as if the last piece of the puzzle had been put into place, we got our answers.
We have been longing to go back to Florida, since we left. My husband was looking online, at homes and found an amazing deal on airfare. I was on the phone with my mom, at that moment. Mom said she would come to stay with Sarah, so that she could go to school, while we flew to FL to check out homes. It was a round trip with only two full days in Florida.
Less then a week before our flight, I crashed the car....again. I hit a patch of ice & lost control. I was going slowly and being cautious this time. Once again, I was unharmed. I even drove home. That same night, just after we had packaged up fifty pounds of hamburger, our less then six months old freezer, inexplicably quit. I also, had just gotten an ear, nose, & sinus problem. It wasn't a good night for me. However, since it was freezing outside, we boxed up the freezer food & put it on the porch. The next day, an insurance adjuster assessed the damage and gave us a check. Paul purchased a chest freezer for our food and returned before the adjuster was finished. Our auto-body friend also assessed the damage, and figured it would cost less then the check we were given.
I called my doctor and my nutritionist about my health issues. Both were unavailable. As a last resort I called my herbalist friend. She had just the thing for me. However, she lives in a holler, that was pure ice. She couldn't get out and had been eating her emergency food. Paul had purchased way more food then we could possibly eat, the day before. It occurred to me that this extra food was for my friend. So, we trekked to her and exchanged items. My health issues went away quickly.
The first day of house hunting, was hopeless. Then our friend took us to a Realtor from her church. We drove by a home and spoke to the owners. Made an appointment and saw the home. It was the one for us. An amount for an offer, clicked into my head. We made the offer, they wanted more, but we stood firm. They accepted the offer. Also, just before we had left there was a storm coming. We missed it. As we returned, a storm was coming. We missed it too, and we were able to get groceries on the way home. Not to mention, Florida offers online schooling, free of charge.
Who has an accident they are not harmed in, that pays for the car to be fixed, a freezer and their trip. Is able to help a friend using things they already had more of then they could use, is healed by herbs quickly, their mom is free to watch their child, and the dog too, buys a home in two days, travels safely while missing two major storms, is given the answer and resources of how to educate their child, AND is given the ability to live in their two favorite place at different times of the year? Only those that God is caring for completely. As the storms of life rage wildly out of our control, God is putting all the pieces of the puzzle neatly into place. Thank you for your abundant blessings God!
Proverbs 16:9 A man's heart plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps.
There were maybe around a dozen people there. Male. Female. Teenagers. Twenties. Thirties. And beyond. Several people took turns reading, and then the floor was opened for sharing. Each person who shared introduced him/herself by stating "My name is ________, and I am an addict".
They spoke quite frankly of how they were managing and coping with their struggle of addiction. They were open about their shortcomings, their thought processes, their failures, their determination, and their realization that they need a "higher power" to help them make changes in order to live a different life, . When they were finished sharing, the entire group verbally said "thank you for sharing" and "keep coming back". At the end of the meeting, everyone went to the front of the room and stood in a circle with arms wrapped around each other as one person quoted a creed straight from the NA book.
There was no judgement or negative statements. Instead there were words of encouragement. There was no talking about each other after the meeting was over. Instead there were exchanges of hugs and phone numbers. There was no giving of opinions of how that person should have handled it. Instead there was the recognition that any one of them could very easily slip back into a world of toxic destruction.
I think that it could be beneficial for Christians to take a lesson from NA. We should recognize that none of us are untouchable. None of us are exempt from struggle. After all every one of us at one time could have introduced ourselves by saying "My name is _________, and I am a sinner".
We should be a support to each other. Not judging, but encouraging. Exchanging hugs and phone numbers. Grabbing onto each other and offering prayers rather than opinions. Reciting from the book that we are using as a guideline to make changes in order to live a different life.
Ephesians 2:8 "For by grace you are saved through faith; and not of yourselves. It is the gift of God".
I thought I was ready for children when I wanted them. I thought I would just somehow be ready. I'll get it I'm sure. Parenting was hard from the word go. I carried Joey in agony. I hurt every day of it. He came. He could not eat. I was unequal to the task. I loved him so much, I became neurotic I both loved and hated the job. It took so much--more than I had.
Joey was difficult. Other moms just didn't have to do what I had to do. He hated socks. It was 30 degrees out. He wouldn't wear them. Coats, pants, grocery stores, he will not to this day have it. Jelly that is sticky, food that is lumpy, and do not get me started on broken routines. My love for him threatened to break me. Therapy, parenting classes, psychiatrists, medication, endless~~*ENDLESS*~~meetings now with three year old Ellanor in tow.
We had reached a corner. We stood on a shiny new acceptable diagnosis and stood poised to have a successful school year. Until the school decided it would benefit itself with the funds a student teacher brings. They brought her to Joey's class. Trouble started from Day One. Anxiety, fear, depression all stemming from the loss of his teacher. Then the student teacher publicly humiliated my son.
I put down my name, my pride, my decorum, my dignity, and only felt the familiar raging love that threatened to undo me. The email started simply, "I am Joey's mom. That is all you need to call me." I identified teacher, school and class. I ended with, "I will only care about your student if you care about MY STUDENT."
The Dean of Education of Pudue University is calling me on Monday. Most of the time I recommend following appropriate channels. Most of the time I say, "Use your nice words." I always say that love wins. But sometimes that love will not be silenced, marginalized, or quieted. Not until every piece of the puzzle fits into place.
Tonight we gathered, we celebrated
Through laughter and chatter, I could hear it all
Joy spilling out, overflowing around the concrete floor gym
We shared a meal, encouraged each other, and worked together for a purpose
I just can't help but reflect
This is Christ in us
His love never fails, never gives up, never runs out
And so shall ours
So, tonight we gathered
In a complete picture of our savior
Joy spilled out...
Valentine's Day brings about a wide array of responses. It is my friend's favorite holiday. She goes all out to make it a special day for her husband and six children. Others dismiss it as a "Hallmark holiday" that has just been created to sell cards, candy, and flowers. For some single people it is a lonely, painful holiday. It certainly wasn't my favorite holiday throughout most of my twenties. As we look at those around us, it can be easy to wonder why certain things seem to be so difficult for us and so easy for others - whether that's getting a job, getting married, or having a baby. I well remember when pregnancy announcements, baby showers, and the sight of a baby belly could reduce me to tears.
Now that I have three children of my own this rarely happens; however, a couple of weeks ago a friend on Facebook posted of a relative of hers who just had a baby and was really in need of some baby gear. I felt lead to offer her some things my youngest no longer needs. Giving up these baby things was hard for me because I'd love to have one more baby, but my husband doesn't think we should do IVF again given we are now in our 40's. Around the same time I found out that a nineteen year old I've known for more than fifteen years is pregnant again. She dropped out of high school to move in with a guy she had known for one month, and she had her first baby five months ago. The three of them have lived in homeless shelters and spent some nights sleeping on the street in Florida. This young lady has no aspirations to ever have a job, and both she and her boyfriend smoke marijuana. I worry about their babies, especially as her boyfriend has spent time in jail for assault. He physically abused this young lady last summer during her first pregnancy. It's hard to understand why I had a miscarriage a few months ago and others who seem ill prepared for the task of motherhood can get pregnant very easily.
How we feel about our situation often depends upon our focus. Some of us might feel like we are struggling to get by financially, and yet compared to most people in the world, we are very wealthy. If you go to http://www.globalrichlist.com/ and enter your annual income, you can see where you are compared to the world as a whole. For example, an annual income of $25,000 puts you in the top 2%. If I remember that there are women who longed to have a baby and yet never saw those two lines on a pregnancy test, I feel incredibly thankful for my three blessings. Ultimately my focus should be on the Lord not my circumstances. The joy of the Lord is my strength. We are called to rejoice in the Lord. What a blessing it is to experience His peace and joy no matter what circumstances we are facing here on earth. If you are feeling lonely on this Valentine's Day, please remember that the God of the Universe loves you more than any human being ever could. You are not alone. You are deeply loved and wanted by our Heavenly Father.
Once again, Valentine's Day is upon us. So what do you have planned? Flowers? Candy? A romantic dinner for two? A friend of mine made this statement today: "What's the big deal about Valentine's Day? Really.... shouldn't they treat you like you are a princess every day of the year?" I laughed and replied that some do, and that we should treat them like kings.
I have dieted most of my life time. I have been everything from a size 0 while anorexic, to a size 20 while pregnant. I have read several books that I have put into practice, using my own body as the test subject.
Lately my brain says one thing while my body another, why is this? It's simple really. The body tries to put weight on in cold weather, because it needs the extra insulation to stay warm. Also, the body is more likely to become ill in winter. It uses fat for energy while recuperating from an illness. These are basic survival instincts kicking in.
Here is the problem we run into. January first, most people mentally choose to change what they eat. Because most people have gained weight over the holidays, due to eating yummy sugary goodies at every gathering. Unfortunately, our body's survival instincts are working directly against the brain's New plan. The apostle Paul says it best in Romans 7:15 For what I am doing,
I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but
what I hate, that I do.
So with all of that in mind, here is my plan. I'm not going to stress out over food. Rather, I'll eat some things that are less healthy, because I crave them, but most of the time I'll eat healthy nutritious things. Also, I'll be consciously drinking more water with fresh lime squeezed into it. Why? Because any citrus makes the body alkaline. An alkaline environment does not harbor disease but will repel it. An alkaline body is not swollen like an acidic body is, therefore I will be leaner. Not to mention, water flushes out toxins and helps the body with every function it does. This is a more balanced approach, therefore it's more likely to work. Above all, I'll be asking God what He would have me put into my body and asking His blessing upon it. This way all foods He has provided will be enjoyed. May God's temple, my body, be used for His glory in all things.
My job is a rewarding one. I have the privilege of working with people who have varying degrees of disability. Tonight was like every other Tuesday. I picked up the young lady who I work with and we headed out for our regular routine of bowling, dinner, and socializing with her friends.
She has an admirer. Another individual who thinks she is the bomb! When he saw us walk over to the lane where he was bowling, he looked at me and said with his very broken speech.... "She makes my heart go 'boom boom'."
I couldn't help but smile at his enthusiastic gushing. All evening long he took advantage of every opportunity to hold her hand, kiss her forehead, and tell her how much he loves her.
I thought about God and how He loves us. We are his creation. His heartbeat. His bride. I could almost hear Him say....."She makes my heart go 'boom boom'."
*(Photo is from the Internet...not my individuals)
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