What I Think

 This is my brain. Well, really it is a good illustration of my brain. A lot of stuff goes on in there. All the time. I think about everything. EV-ER-Y-THING.    Sometimes my brain feels overloaded. Like there are too many tabs open at once. Other times my brain feels constipated. Like if I can't get some of the stuff out, my head will explode.
  I am an introverted person. If you don't know me well, you probably wouldn't think so. I love people and conversing, but the talking drains my energy.
  Enter writing. This is my outlet. My way to clear space in my head .....so I can think about more stuff. I write lists, poems, journals, stories, blogs, chapters, and songs. Writing can be a scary thing for me. Letting someone read what I have written is scarier yet. Suddenly the thoughts and feelings of what goes on inside me are out there. On paper. And while spoken words can be forgotten.....written words are always there. They can be ignored, challenged, thrown up in your face, or used against you.......
   ..So I try to choose my words carefully. Most of the time. I don't always get it right, but I usually get it real. Then I second guess my words. Which leads to more thinking.
   Lately I have had a lot of stuff inside of my head. Stuff I don't want to write. Stuff that some people may not understand. Stuff that doesn't come with a happy ending. Real stuff.
   After watching what I thought was going to be a "feel good" movie about a man's life and being impacted more than I had expected, I keep having a sense of urgency to write. To get it out. To share the triumphs and the heartbreak. The struggles and the turning points as they both come.
   I told someone the other day that I fantasize about locking myself away in a cabin for several days, taking the longest uninterrupted nap ever, and then writing until I can't see straight.....Then afterwards... praying about the where, when, how, and what to share in hopes that my story, my struggles, and my faith can encourage someone else along the way.