"We tend to look to others to make us happy. The moment our happiness is dependent on someone else we have made them our source. Which means our happiness vacillates with their behavior. We are now feeling lack, which gives birth to codependency. The ultimate codependency is when we look outside of ourselves to meet a need that only God can meet in our heart! Blinded by need, we make needy decisions which actually destroy any hope of true happiness. Others can contribute to our happiness, but they can never be the source. The only people who are truly happy are the ones that are happy regardless of others. Only when we can be happy without others are we able to actually make the necessary decisions that lead to a life of happiness. When we are happy independent of the actions of others we can walk in God’s love and open the door of endless possibilities for happiness!"
While skimming through my Facebook posts the other day, this quote from Dr. Jim Richards caught my attention, and it made me recall a period of time in my life where my circumstances were less than ideal, and I had to choose daily (sometimes moment by moment) to not base my sense of "happiness" on my current circumstance. I was going through a divorce, mourning the death of something that I had believed would last. I was told by well-meaning friends that I "deserved to be happy." I had to take a good hard look at what that meant, and I made a decision that whatever happened, I was not going to look to another person to "fulfill me" or to make me happy. I determined within myself that I was going to allow the Lord to fill that need for happiness as I walked with Him. Philip told me when we were courting that one of the things that had attracted him to me was the genuine joy and peace that I exuded despite the painful things that had occurred in my life. Now that doesn't mean that my life lacks drama and times where I don't feel happy, however, I can still go through life with a sense of peace despite the things going on around me.
I have observed so many dear friends and acquaintances who have been searching for happiness and are convinced that they can only find that in another person, and I have seen the drama and heartache that they have found instead. It breaks my heart for them, and whenever I have opportunity, I share with them what I have learned. I pray that they will also learn to find their worth and their happiness in God as they allow Him to heal their wounds and love on them.
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