This month is dedicated to letting people know more about Autism. I think everyone has heard the word, but this is the story we've lived. My journey into the blue spectrum has been eye-opening. I was woefully underprepared for the forceful nature of parenting. It stole my breath how much of me was needed and how little I was in the face of it. I started out so very very very confident very arrogant. I prayed for wisdom.
I thought I had it all figured out. Then the reality of how VERY MUCH I loved my first child, how VERY MUCH I wanted to do everything perfectly, how VERY MUCH I hated the effort it took to get through a day, how VERY MUCH I needed to see my son rightly. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how I completely devoured books by the dozen, I could not seem to reach him in a way that he could see and hear me. I prayed to God.
Then Sarah was born. All the same emotions came, but this time Sarah responded very differently to me. I started to see that Joey needed more help than I could give. I was failing and Joey was unhappy. It started with fussiness that lead into full on fear of stimulating experiences. That lead to a diagnosis of the hard to understand Sensory Integration Disorder. That lead to occupational therapy. After a year of hard work, Joey kicked it almost completely. He still hates socks with passion, but he even has found an ingenious way of coping with it. Recently I joyfully watched him overcome the fear of heights that came with this disorder. His victory of this part of it was profound and beautiful to behold. I praised God for His answers and my determined son.
We ended up in counseling with Joey with a lovely local counselor. She saw something more. Joey started to see a psychiatrist. I cried out to my Father God in Heaven, "Is this the way?"
The spectrum was hinted at. I PRAYED LIKE NEVER BEFORE. I filled out 1,000 bubble dot questions on a scantron. So did Joey's teachers and father. The doctor read the results and copious notes from the counselor. "Joey really shows signs of anxiety associated with Sensory issues of light and noise, and Autism. Autism being the root of the social issues. I recommend medication. Follow up with his regular psychiatrist. He is an amazing child. He is going to beat this with the already in place coping mechanisms you've helped him find." I wept and thanked God for his kindness and answers.
This week Joey had a tremendous breakthrough at school and therapy. God helped him to see that Joey can turn it around. God showed Joey that people were good and their opinions can change. Joey responded by saying, "Mom, I am going to start making better choices. Everyone is so much happier and nicer when I do. Thanks mom. I love you." I cried out thanksgiving to God! For a solid week since then, Joey has been reaching out for help, giving help, responding to love and BEATING THE PANTS off of Autism. Jesus will bring victory.
My call to you is to look the other way in kindness when you see a huge nine year old melt down at WalMart. Give the mom the credit that she is doing something, you just don't understand it. Please reach out in kindness to the kids that are NEVER EVER invited to birthday parties because they are "weird," Please see things in a way that says, "I do not understand, but I support. How can I help you?" Please do not assume that we are bad parents. Pray for the wisdom to know who needs to be a better parent and who is doing every blessed thing that they can. God will give you wisdom in that. Autism can be mild and just make life hard but the child looks "normal but difficult." Autism can be so debilitating that the person will never speak, use the toilet, or feed himself. It is a disorder that is:
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