Behavior Charts

   Every day as I open and close my fridge, I hear the rustle of paper. It is the sound of my children's "behavior" charts flapping in the breeze. There are charts for chores, charts for school work, charts for hygiene, charts for attitudes, and so on. There is even a chart to discourage back talking titled "Please don't feed the donkey". These are visual reminders of what is expected of them each day. Stickers, stars, checks, smiley faces, and big black x's tell the story of each success or struggle.
   Yesterday was not a very good chart day. Sigh! Oh, there was yelling and crying, anger and frustration...and the kids didn't do so well either. As I thought about my own mental charts and how I had failed miserably, my thoughts turned to grace. Ephesians 2:8-9 says "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: It is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast".
   I am so thankful that my Father does not base His saving grace on my behavior chart. There is nothing I can do to deserve His love, but He freely gives it. I do not have to earn it. I only have to accept it. And knowing that He loves me unconditionally, motivates me to be more like Him.

School Days

Where parents choose to send their children to school is often an emotionally charged issue, especially if they do not choose a public school. Before we became parents, my husband said he wanted to homeschool our children. Because I had spent 26 years in Christian schools, my instinct was to send our children to a Christian school. My husband's preference grew on me, and we decided to homeschool our children. I expected to meet resistance once my eldest was five-years-old, but I was taken by surprise when I was reprimanded for not sending her to day care before she even had her first birthday. A colleague at work expressed concern over my infant's socialization. I was stunned, and yet many others have made similar comments over the past four years regarding my social butterfly. I did not realize I would be viewed as depriving my daughter if I did not send her to preschool even though she actively participates in gymnastics, ballet, AWANA, and Sunday School each week.

Parents are ultimately responsible for their children's education, and I believe every parent needs to seek the Lord's guidance as to how each of their children should be educated. It's a very personal decision. Just because we have chosen to homeschool our children, it does not mean we think every family should homeschool their children. A public school or a private school might be the best place for another child. Tolerance is loudly preached in our culture, but it often does not extend toward parents who choose an option other than a public school for their children. What other people think of our decision does not matter. There is only one voice that matters, and that is God's. "The fear of man brings a snare, but he who trusts in the LORD will be exalted." (Proverbs 29:25) I will be accountable to God alone at the end of my life. If I am following His leading, then I need to have the courage to share our decision to homeschool without wincing.

Tank Check

From 0-10, how full is your "love tank"?  My husband and I recently took someone through a video seminar on "The Five Love Languages" and the "Tank Check" has come to my mind countless times since.  This time, though, instead of relating it between spouses, it occurred to me to look at it from the standpoint of my relationship with the Lord.  When I feel that my (spiritual) love tank is less than full, is it because I haven't been spending the quality time with the Lord that I had been spending when it felt full?

The words that have been given to me for the last several years have been "Focus", "Intimacy", and "Be Still".  Each one directs me to spend time soaking in His presence.  I want to be so full of His love and grace that it has no choice but to flow out to others, so that they can experience His love for themselves.

Unpacking

      I have moved many times in my past.  As a child and as a grown up, I faced the hurt of leaving "home" and starting over again.  In every town I left, I put all of the good and bad in a box in my mind, labeled it by city and shut the lid with packing tape.  One of the towns I left was Lafayette, Indiana.  In that city a bunch of nasty hurts went down.  I packed up my box marked it NEVER AGAIN, and left.
     Fast forward 10 years to 2010.  My husband Pete was really really hurt in his job in Battle Creek, Michigan.  We started to save all of those head-hunter fliers and letters that came in the mail daily.  North Dakota and Canada went right in the trash, but beyond that we were open.  Tennessee would've been nice.  Then IT came in the mail.  The horrible letter from IU Health Arnett in Lafayette, Indiana. Their recruiting department had noticed that Pete was an IU medical school graduate and would he like to come work for us here?  I went right to the trash can.  God stopped me and said, "It is not your career."  Great.
   Peter applied, he interviewed, he loved it, I am now living in a nice house on the North side.  Now I had to go into my mental closet with Jesus.  Tenderly and gently He helped me open the box, that was leaking all over the place mind you, and together we faced the profound hurt.  I contacted the people involved and am working it through with them.  This is painful, but I can truly say that I am a better person for it.
     Sometimes God moves us in strait lines across a clear path, but this time it was a circular path that brought healing.  Go over those leaking boxes in your mind and open them with God's help.  I promise that it will make you stronger and better.

Life's, "Oh, Crap,"Moments

While trying to find out Sarah's gender, during the ultrasound, I said, "Come on, show us what you are."  No joke, she shook her head, NO! That was the first time I thought, "Oh,crap! I'm in trouble."

Then one day when our girl was about 5 months old, she was vehemently opposing the changing of her dirty diaper. The changing pad was about an inch longer, on each side, then the top of the dresser it was perched upon. As she threw her legs up in protest, she inched back the pad, unknowingly, to the point  that it was now fully over the edge, on the side closest to her head. With one wild kick of the legs up with her arms above her head, the pad went straight up into the air as she did a swan dive, head first, into the garbage can below. Her legs were really kicking now, with her bare bottom wiggling for all to see. As this was happening I screamed in shock & horror. Paul rushed around the corner, saw us & said, "If you don't want her any more, you didn't have to throw her away,"then he started laughing. This, while I scooped her out of the trash, and yelled at him, "I would NEVER do that Paul!" Thankfully there was nothing in the garbage can except the bag of a diaper wrapping that cushioned her fall. 

If the diaper had not already been off, the crap would have literally hit the fan.  This was another, "Oh, crap" moment, of which I have had many. Simply put, life has, "Oh, crap,"moments. The best way to handle them is, pray, throw it at God & laugh about it afterward.

Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you.

Trash Talker

I was taken back a bit when we recently studied the story of David and Goliath.  This story is usually used to encourage the underdog in all of us, the little who can slay the huge giant with God’s help. 

The thing that caught my eye was what a trash talker Goliath was.  He was bold, intimidating and loud.  He defiled Israel and God with his harsh words and arrogant demeanor. Shouting loud the same ridiculous message forty days in a row.  Constant, annoying and offensive to God.

David was offended by him most when he heard that Goliath was speaking out hatred and disrespect of the true living God.  The God of Israel.

I thought of how often I hear the world around me defile God with their words.

Whether bold, intimidating and loud, or a subtle, constant and arrogant the message is still the same.  Trash talkers.

I was then convicted of how defensive and heart- broken I become when someone talks trash about me or my loved ones, and yet so often when the trash talk is aimed at my heavenly Father, I am numb. 

Now I understand that God does not need me to run to his defense, or to uphold his reputation, but If I ask honestly “Lord break my heart for what breaks yours”…Should the daily defilement of Him be the “norm” ?  Or should it break my heart as it does his? 

Lord,  Help us to be aware of what is penetrating our minds, our hearts and our souls. Help us to not be intimidated by the trash talkers of life.

Come Play With Us!

When I was young and Mother had unshackled me from the dinner table, I would go running out the door yelling, " Chrissy's out!  Come play with me!"  God bless all those kids who came running.  I was sure the nicest people in the world lived in our neighborhood.
Recently, I called friends who've known me from as early as five to twenty-five, and they came running to work on this blog.  I chose everyone carefully and one of the most important criterion was that members were includers.  I could tell you stories about each contributor that would make you cry.  In one way or another, these are people who let me in instead of shutting me out.
Sometimes it's the smallest things that linger the longest, and from which we learn the best lessons.  Sometimes you learn huge lessons from the image of God in the person next to you.  It is a powerful, healing experience to be loved, to call out for playmates and to answer them.  I hope our readers always feel that they belong.
Come play with us!

Got stress?

Image from: http://www.lemonlaw.com/images/Lemon-of-the-Week/vandoor1.jpg

This isn't my car, but it is what happened with it. Mine is now back in one piece, hopefully to stay.

Got Stress?

Did you ever have one of those days?  Well, I’ve had one of those weeks…years? Last week, I had my oldest daughter drive me to pick up her sister at a school function because I have trouble seeing to drive at night.  We were pulled over by an officer on the way back…because our front headlight had stopped functioning!  “Are you aware that one of your headlights is out?”  No, we were not aware, of course. Since my daughter had been driving, she was upset, but we repaired it quickly to satisfy the ticket.  (That thing must have just gone out THAT NIGHT. Couldn’t we have simply gotten a warning instead of a ticket?  My daughter was driving beautifully, and it’s not even her car. Oh, well.)  Yesterday, one week later, I was waiting in the car loop to pick up my three eldest daughters from school musical practice.  They’re down to the final stretch, with long rehearsals almost every day.  I can’t wait to see the show, especially since having three kids in it will be awesome for me as a mom.  My oldest daughter is under a lot of stress, being a senior with many obligations besides her major role in a musical for the first time ever.  We live way up north with no garage.  Almost every winter, our one “automatic” door on our minivan refuses to open partway through the winter, because ice, snow, and rock salt work their way under a rubber bumper-thing right behind the sliding door, loosening it enough to obstruct the door.  We just had it reglued last spring, but Winter was persistent.  After a long day of school and rehearsal, my three daughters rushed through the snow and icy wind to the shelter of our car.  Finding the sliding door on the curb side refusing to open, my oldest daughter quickly ran to the other side, yanking the non-automatic door open roughly in frustration.  Well, the door broke!  I mean, it ripped off its upper hinge-slidy-thing, which we found when we tried to close it.  I leaped out of my seat, grabbing the door before it ended up lying in the car loop while the daughter nearest the inside tried to help me reattach it.  Embarrassingly, not all of the cars had left the loop, so here I was, out in the cold wind with my hair flying, wrestling with a car door, crying,  “Oh, NO!  I don’t know what to DO!  I don’t know what to DO! I can’t BELIEVE this!”  while another daughter attempted cheerfulness: “Don’t worry, Mom, it’s just the car.  I think I can hold it closed! We don’t need money!” (Actually, my dear, unfortunately, we do, but we wouldn’t have it at this point, and for the only vehicle that fits the whole family.)  Astronomically-huge car repair bills looming on my mind, I finally got the door MOSTLY closed, enough that there wouldn’t be danger of its taking the daughter inside with it into some farmer’s field, and tried to at least get it home.  I say MOSTLY closed, as in latched but not sealed enough to silence an annoying buzzing alarm.  Our drive home was accompanied by both my and my understandably-mortified oldest daughter’s apologetic tears, the buzzing “door is ajar” alarm, my other daughter’s SINGING (she thought it would help drown out the alarm), and my third daughter’s eventual, “Please.  Please stop singing.  Really, I can’t stand it.  Please stop.”  Tears quietly streaming down my face, something struck me as hilarious partway home, and I couldn’t help but start to giggle at the same time I was crying.  I thought, now THIS would be the perfect time in Atrocious-Land to be pulled over by a cop.  “Maam, are you aware that your CAR DOOR is falling off?”  :P  Well, we arrived home safely, after which I really was able to get the door completely back into its groove—without a car repairman.  My oldest daughter helped, and we finally got everything working so that awful buzzer finally turned off.  She has learned to be extra-careful when she is frustrated, even though it was an accident.  I take it as a lesson also:  it’s so easy to forget and just slam or yank something when we’re upset.  I think that everyone in that car will think twice before reacting to frustration the next time it comes.  I thank God for the release of tears and laughter.  Stress comes on like a tidal wave sometimes, and it relieves the heart to cry, and even more so to laugh, especially at yourself.  What a picture I must have made in that car loop in my puffy coat, like some sort of Banshee Michelin Dough-Boy creature, trying to hold my car together with my desperate small hands!  I thank God for helping me to eventually do what I thought was impossible.  I was literally blinded by stress (plus it was dark), and it wasn’t until the tidal wave subsided that I could see (or breathe) clearly enough to fix the problem.  Sometimes you have to let that awful wave hit you and roll along with its punch until you can get your head above water enough to see solutions if there are any.  You have to step back a bit from the situation to change the situation (and in my case see how funny it looks.) God doesn’t prevent you from getting hit by Life’s tidal waves, but He is the Great Lifesaver.  Grab onto His promises, and He will sustain you through the storms, and sometimes scrape you off the floor, bedraggled and dripping-wet, but still His imperfect and dearly-loved child.  There are many things we simply can’t endure without breaking, but there is no problem God can’t handle, and He knows our breaking points.  He fixes what we think is impossible, including us when we go to pieces, and instead of sending us the ultimate repair bill, He already paid the ultimate price, to give us the ultimate gift of eternal life with Him.

But for the grace of God.....

   As the news of yet another celebrity death has inundated the Internet I can't help but to feel sad. I was not a fan of Mindy McCready (country music is not my favorite style), and I do not know what was happening in her personal life. However I was surprised at some of the harsh comments thrown out there by Christians regarding her death, substance abuse, being an unfit mother, selfish, rehab failure, mental case, and so on.
   Why are some so quick to judge people (celebrity or not) when they are in a mess or are struggling?  We can point fingers at what we feel are reprehensible sins, but in God's eyes sin is sin. The stench of my bad attitude can rival the smell of the most intoxicated man some days.
    Mental health issues also seem to be frowned upon by many. I have never discussed the following with any human other than my doctor.....  I too struggle with depression. (GASP!) Some would say that a Christian should not be depressed, but there are days that I find myself battling with the physical and emotional symptoms of depression even though I have a relationship with God and know that He has a plan for my life. I have days where I am withdrawn and don't want to be around people, but I still love God. I may feel hopeless, but I still believe that my hope is in Him. I may be fatigued to the point of barely functioning, but I still pray. I may burst into tears over the most trivial thing, but I still worship. Sometimes things just don't make any sense unless you have walked through it yourself.
   In thinking of Mindy and other celebrities who have passed away recently, my question is.... Could the outcome have been different if during their struggles they were met with compassion instead of criticism or with mercy instead of malice??? On my worst days do I want to be reminded of what a failure I appear to be, or do I need someone to put their arms around me and reassure me that this moment will pass???
    The bottom line is this:   We are all human. We all have struggles. We all need grace.  If it wasn't for the grace of  a compassionate and merciful God, where would I be? Lord, please help me to be a vessel filled with Your amazing grace so that even as I walk through my own struggles, the overflow will touch others and point them to You!
   

Brussels Sprouts?

We know that actions speak louder than words. Although we are not purposefully hypocritical, it is easy to have expectations for others that we do not have for ourselves. As I was reflecting on the expectations I have for my children, it struck me that my husband and I are not the best role models when it comes to eating a wide variety of vegetables. I expect them to eat a little of every vegetable I serve, but I never serve the vegetables that my husband and I don't enjoy. I am not setting a good example for them, and I'm limiting their exposure to healthy foods they might really enjoy. If I am going to require my children to keep trying new foods, I need to plan menus that are not just based on what my husband and I like to eat. I am not ready to start eating my least favorite vegetable, brussels sprouts, but I can start serving  and eating some vegetables that I haven't eaten in many years. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “What you are stands over you the while, and thunders so that I cannot hear what you say to the contrary." I pray that the Holy Spirit will show me if there are other areas of my life where I need to make changes in order to practice what I preach.

Prayer

Lord, I need wisdom.  You said that if we ask for wisdom, you will give it liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding.  There are precious wounded souls that You have placed in my path, in my sphere of influence who are in need of you and your grace and mercy.  I desperately need your wisdom so that I know when to simply listen and love on them, and when it is time to open my mouth.  Let my words be life-giving, grace-filled words of love and truth, healing and freedom... that they might be set free to pursue you and the path that you have for them.  Let me love them with your love; patient, kind, never failing love.  Open their eyes to see the Lover of their souls; that they would be ruined for anything less...

The Mom Pile.

      There is in every house a place for all the mending, broken toys, and papers that need shuffled.  In my house it is the Mom Pile next to the rocker in my bedroom.  There is in my pile a stuffed, three foot long, red snake that has split its seam.  Despite my daughter's constant entreaties to please repair it, I just can't.  I look at the stupid snake and see all the times it has hit her sister, it has knocked over lamps, and been fought over in great tug of wars.  It seems to bring out in my daughter qualities that are less than appealing.  I can't really throw it away because of her love of the thing, and I can't force myself fix this thing that  seems to be bad for her.  Other toys and shirts and papers come and go.  The snake sits.
     I then think about the God Pile.  There must be one in Heaven next to the throne in the Great Hall.  In that pile are my broken thoughts, dumb ideas, and hastily made prayers. I often think, "When will God do this thing I want Him to do!!  I wish I would hear something!!"  But what if what I wanted would just make me less than appealing as well.  What if He is really REALLY tired of hearing me ask all the wrong questions and overlook all the great answers He HAS given? 
     So, I force myself to look at the pile of my prayers, thoughts, and ideas and ask Him to weed them out.  Throw away what is useless and heal my grief at their loss.  Maybe, in future, I'll be less likely to hurt others with my tongue, knock over other people's dreams, and fight less over dumb ideas.

Unafraid

        I am a person of privilege, but not because I'm good.
  It's simply because of God's grace and mercy. He is my father.
   I have shortcomings, but God is changing me into His image.

At times, I am bold, in your face, and unabashed, like His son Jesus. 

     When Jesus, thought the Pharisees were snakes, He told them.

        He overturned tables in God's house, when he was mad

  We are all made in God's likeness & have emotions. Like God.

        Unlike God, at times, we don't handle our emotions well.

  He sees us, our situation, & our emotions, when we talk to Him.

  I speak plainly to God. Why not? He knows everything already.

        When I pray, and speak to Father God, demons shudder. 

       If you are also God's child, be exceedingly glad, own it.
    Know that your Heavenly Dad is in charge, and be unafraid.

 FEAR NOT, for I am with you, even till the end of the age....God.

Love 365 days of the year

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

God does not need the calendar to tell Him to love us, or to give us a gift as a token of that love.  

Why then, should we feel like we need a date or cheesy gift?

Waxy chocolates are not needed, nor desired.

Overpriced flowers are fine any day of the year.

Six foot tall teddy bears would definitely cramp my style.

On this day that we celebrate Love...

are we patient

are we kind

are we content

are we humble

are we peacemakers

Love never Fails

St. Ash Valentines Wednesday

Christ in the desert is so much more appealing than Christ Triumphant.  Don't get me wrong, I'll take Jesus any way he comes, but thre is something tender and sorrowful about him at this point in the liturgy.  It is so much easier to volunteer for 46 days of fasting when you know he'll be there all the way.  The ashes on my forehead are so much easier to wear when I realize it's a conversation heart saying, "Be Mine."  Letting go of cheap and easy crutches is a moment of bliss when you realize you'll be leaning on his arm.
It shouldn't take the intersection of Ash Wednesday and Valentine's Day for me to realize how romantic The Lord is, but it did.

Pain

Pain

Unwanted, Always

Asked to Leave

Boomerang, Teacher

Silently forcing our appreciation

Of the Small

Dark Details, Comforts

The Wait

Before the News,

Before Change,

Good or Bad,

We may dwell for a Moment, in a Moment,

In beautiful Minutia,

And find a Great Gift

In the Quiet,

Mere Existence

Listening to Life,

The Voice of God,

Eternity past the Temporary,

Love past Loss,

Grand Relief,

Joy dancing with Endurance,

Echoing in its reluctant voice

Persistent friend,
Unloved lover,

Pain

Success?

     I just watched my husband walk out the door bearing the weight of discouragement on his broad shoulders.  Six years ago he was in the hospital recovering from the second surgery that was just one of the results of a 3 story fall (that is not a typo) from a ladder while he was working.  At the time, we had a thriving business and in the eyes of many, we appeared successful.  That split second changed everything.
     Hours of uncertainty led to weeks of painful surgeries and then to months of physical therapy.  I was told by the surgeon following his first surgery that when his arm was opened up, it looked like his elbow had exploded inside and that there was little chance of him regaining use of his arm. But that surgeon did not know the man he was dealing with.....
     I have watched this stubborn man push through immense physical pain just to prove that the doctors were wrong.  I walked with him through the frustration of him not even being able to dress himself. When our workers failed to do their job and our business was threatened, I pleaded with him as he made a makeshift sling and tied his equipment into his hand and went out to do the job himself.
    Fast forward to today...... He has been in the midst of an inevitable major change in occupation.  This has required him to stretch beyond the comfortable and return to the classroom, learn computer skills, and test Test TEST!  He sees struggle. I see courage.  He sees failure.  I see focus.  He sees weakness.  I see determination.  He sees a set back.  I watch him rise to the challenge.  When I look at my husband struggling in all of this, I see the characteristics of the God who created him.  And if that isn't success, I don't know what is.

Strength

There have been moments in my life where I felt I was in over my head. Although I had a master's degree in school administration, I was not expecting to become a school principal at the age of 24 with only four years of experience as a middle school teacher. I wondered how my teachers would feel to have their boss be so much younger than they were. Similarly, I kept turning down requests to direct the adult choir at church because I did not feel I had the professional training to take on such a task. I just wanted to continue singing alto in the choir. When I did accept these responsibilities, it forced me to my knees. I prayed that the Lord would strengthen me and give me the wisdom I so desperately needed. As Paul said, "when I am weak, then I am strong." I am so grateful that the Lord puts me in these situations where I am keenly aware of my dependence on Him. What a blessed promise is given in Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

Hush, Now

At the beginning of the past few years, our pastor has encouraged each of us to ask the Lord to give us a word for the year, and then to seek Him regarding that word.  My words have been "Focus", "Intimacy", and this year I have been hearing "Be Still".  Anyone who knows me well must be chuckling at this, as I have a tendency to hit the ground running and not stop until I collapse into bed, only to repeat the cycle the next day (I refer to this as "mach 2 with hair on fire").

In finally sitting and quieting my soul, I am beginning to see that all of these words speak a similar theme to me, and they all have to do with relationship; an intimate, focused relationship with the Creator of the Universe and the Lover of my soul...

The Gift.

When thoughts turn frightening, sleep.
When the weight carries on too long, sleep.
When burdens not meant for me I carry, sleep.
To the morning of a fresh new day, wake.
To the helping hand of Father God, wake.
To the boundless joys of everafters, wake.
                   
                       I wake for Hope.

A Choice for Life

I was married at barely 20. Then divorced 2 years later.
I was single, young & attractive. A month later, I was pregnant.
The father told me to have an abortion. I forcefully said,
I will not stand before a Holy God one day and say,
I killed your creation because it was inconvenient at the time.
I decided to give this child a mother and father that had both
the means and maturity, to give them, what they needed.
I simply knew, adoption was the best situation for both of us.

By law, a birth-mother cannot sign papers until 72 hours

after the birth of their child. This imperative fact was not told to me,

until after the birth. I was without a child car seat, any baby clothes
or diapers. Also, my hormones, stress & emotions were intense.
As far as I knew, he was to go home with his adoptive parents.
Because I had an emergency Cesarean section, I stayed in the hospital
For two and a half days. Otherwise I would have had to take my son
home, or, I would have been charged with abandonment.

This was one of several situations, God resolved ahead of time.
I signed the papers, just ink & paper. Then afterwards, 

I gave my first born son to his joy filled adoptive parents,

then looked at my own, now empty lap, my heart sunk. 

It was the most difficult thing I've ever done, but it was best for him. 

Flag of Surrender

We have all been there

We’ve all had those days

When we wonder what just happened

Exhausted, drug down and beat up

Ready to wave that white flag of surrender

Wondering if we can ever trust again

Too tired to fight

Too devastated to feel

Just as our arms stretch out to raise that white flag

Then Christ….

Christ takes that surrender and wraps it across our shoulders like fine linen

Christ will defend when we cannot speak

Christ will carry, when we are too weak

Christ will guide when we cannot see through the fog

Christ will give peace in His embrace

In the Empty

Dandelions roar in forsaken places--
Stubbornly converting radiation into bloom.
Where cultivated flowers wither
The dandelion shouts.
"We are not forgotten.
We are not abandoned.
We are not alone.
If 2 dead fish can feed 5,000
We can reproduce 100 fold."

Mothers...Do

Mothers...Do

Mothers don’t do it for the respect.  As soon as you become a mother, you drop down the pecking order of the world by at least half.  Open criticism, arrogant put-downs, and degrading assumptions are the norm.  People assume you are lacking in intelligence, the more children you have.  Even when expecting, total strangers and especially cashiers feel they suddenly have the right to voice their opinions on motherhood, some attempting to touch your tummy at the same time they criticize having kids in the first place. The world will not rise up and call you blessed.

Mothers don’t do it for the glory.  Constant responsibility, irrational uprisings from people of all sizes, the chaotic circus of stress often becomes an unrequested part of daily routine, as if all troubles are drawn to the magnet of Mom to attempt to solve the unsolvable.  Bodily functions are your special domain, and being covered in dirty substances you cannot identify is just part of your uniform.  Bathroom breaks are opportunities for total destruction to occur (how COULD you not be there for two minutes!) and hot bubble baths with lovely aromas are fond dreams of a great reward. 

Mothers don’t do it for the money or an easy life.  Let it be said that all mothers work.  All simply do not get paid.  Sadly, it is women themselves who are the harshest critics of those who are at home with their family, inside the church as well as outside.  Women need to give each other a break, and admit that even children over the age of five need their parents.  Many children with special needs look normal, and many moms save more money by being there than they would make outside the home.  If you have a job, don’t feel guilty, so that you must put down those who work at home as if you chose correctly and they didn’t.  They know you are trying to be there for your kids too, and they are not pointing fingers at you. The celebration of the complex differences in every person’s life should not end at “mom.”  Unfounded guilt comes with the territory and should be squelched as it pops up like whack-o-mole.

Mothers do it for the children.  They’ll do almost anything, endure whatever it takes for a hug from little arms, for small hands in theirs and Trust looking up at them.  “I love you” is better than a raise, and watching your child learn, grow and succeed is an ultimate thrill.  Mothers love fiercely, unselfishly, eternally with a love deeper than they knew possible.  They also hurt deeper than ever before, but they will tell you it’s worth every pain, every sacrifice.  They nurture, love, and learn at least as much as they teach…until they have to learn to let go.  They have to step aside and let their children fail, so they can make their own choices.  However, they still want to be there to help pick up the pieces, if only to spend a bit more time with that person.  A child’s broken heart is also felt by Mom, even when a teen declares, “You couldn’t possibly understand!” From the “I love you” of “Pick up your dirty socks!” to the “I love you” of “Goodbye—and call if you need anything!” it only grows deeper.   Mothers don’t ever stop being who they are, with hearts tied permanently to other hearts, thankful for the Creator’s gift of life.  

Mothers often won’t answer if asked, “How do you do it?” It’s like asking, “How do you live? How do you breathe?” They’re busy doing it while you ask, gladly and until life’s final dance.