Sun!

     I woke up sick last week, after coming home early from work the day before, also because I was sick. I called my primary care physician. He told me that it was sun poisoning. The only cure he offered was to drink lots of water. Probably because he knew I would not take a drug if he offered it. I was relieved to know what it was and immediately went home to drink some coffee. I had not had any for days and was in need of it to keep my digestive system moving properly.
   I got sun poisoning when we went to Florida on vacation last month. I took precautions. I used sun protection on my face, but only a low one for my body. I had a tan before I left because I did not want that very thing to happen. I love the sun & feel better when I am in it....except when I'm in it for two days in a row for over six hours each day, that is. I got every symptom; swelling in the face, fever and chills, confusion, faintness, headache, dehydration, itchy skin & upset stomach. I couldn't even see correctly for a while and had shooting pains at times.
    Before I knew for sure what the problem was, my mom said, "Maybe you have shingles". I have had shingles before. I got rid of shingles in five days before, no drugs. Only loads of water, 4 L-lysine every few hours and nothing but meat & veggies to eat because sugar and acid feed shingles.
    My symptoms are all gone except the itchy skin. I feel like I have chicken pox. It's awful. I have had boat loads of water, coconut water, taken L-lysine like candy, probiotics and more water. I'm still digging & itching. My only relief is a half hour after I take L-lysine for a few hours. Then it starts again. The other bad thing is that my rockin tan is almost gone.
    Will I go in the sun again? Oh yeah! I want the vitamin D3 and vitamin C from it. I'm about to go in my attic for a redneck sauna just to feel it's warmth and sweat out toxins, no really. However, I will take more precautions and cover up when I can go in the sun in the future. Which will probably be next summer. Everything God makes is good. The sun is no exception. However, moderation of these good things, is best. I'm so glad I don't have to take God in moderation. One may have as much of God as they like and there are no bad side effects to be had. In heaven, the sun will be out all the time, and we won't be poisoned or get cancer from it. Looking forward to heaven. Praise His name!

New old friends.

    I am constantly surprised at how the internet works. Sometimes you lose family and people you've never met become family. God has given me the priviledge of leading a group of lovely women in a Good Morning Girls Bible study. We are spread from Canada to California, Maine to Florida, and all points in between. My group is unique because we all bond over the fact that we all have special needs kids.
     This very day, God has provided me an opputunity to visit two friends I have made through Good Morning Girls. I have laughed and cried with both of these women who have become dear to me.
     I am so pleased that God is working off my sharp edges and replacing them with shepherd's heart. I go to meet them now excited that we have really encouraged each other and fully expecting a relaxing lunch.
    It took me this long to realize that this is a place to either repell people or connect with them. I chose connection.

Resignation

 Her alarm goes off. She quickly shuts it off and checks the time. The tasks of the day immediately rev up in her mind. She takes a deep breath and simply prays "God, please be with us today, and draw our hearts closer to you and to each other."  Another deep breath.... Time to wake the kids.
   She wakes them and gives them instructions to get ready, and then she jumps in the shower. As soon as she finishes, she calls out to the youngest to come to take her shower. Instead of compliance, she is met with repeated screams of "I am NOT taking a shower!!!". She feels anger creeping in as she repeats her request. Still met with defiance, the request now becomes a demand.
   A power struggle ensues..... over mismatched clothes, backtalk, and hygiene. Progress is slowly made as the youngest at least gets dressed (no shower because now they are out of time). Then finally... a knock down, drag out, smack fest between her daughters over which dog should be in which kennel pushes her mounting frustration over the edge and then erupts as it spews out in all kinds of ugliness. Yelling, scolding, shaming, swatting, followed immediately by guilt and disbelief at the things that were flying out of her mouth. She knows she shouldn't have said that or done this. She feels like a failure. If she was good Mom.....a successful Mom....her kids would listen, right?  They would cooperate. They would be loving and compassionate toward each other. They would be respectful. They would sneeze glitter. Their giggles would be like the sound of ringing hand bells...
   She is late for her appointment.....again. As soon as they return home, she retreats in order to recompose herself. It is only 9:30 am and she still has the whole day ahead of her. She prays. She confesses her shortcomings to God. Not that He isn't already aware, but to let Him know that she knows her own faults. She tells Him that based on how her children behave....she must be a failure as their Mom. She tries to turn in her resignation. And then....
    ....She hears Him asking "What about me? Am I a failure? My children don't listen. My children defy me in their stubbornness. My children power struggle with me. My children lash out at each other over unimportant things".....It dawns on her that SHE is His stubborn child, but her faults and shortcomings have no bearing on His Sovereignty. He is still God. He is still her loving Father........
    ...She still resigns.....
.......She resigns herself to make amends in the form of chocolate chip cookies.

Because I love them

Put me in a room with a child and fifteen minutes later I will love them.  Some kids it doesn't take fifteen seconds.  When I find adults difficult to take I imagine them at five years of age and that almost always helps.  I love the mysteries in each person, and I'm hooked on watching them unfold.

I grew up in a very structured world that had very clear ideas about what kind of people God made and how everyone should express the character God had given them.  The older I get and the more people I watch blooming and growing, the more I realize we really are too limited to know what God would do and how he would do it.  I'm  trying to give up categorizing and controlling in favor of observing and appreciating other people.  

I know how much I love it when someone does that for me.

Grateful

Life has been so very busy lately.  Working, running North for church and band performances, South for family and band rehearsals and ministry and more work...busy, busy, busy!!!  At times it seems as though my husband and I are constantly heading in opposite directions and barely have time to speak to one another.  

A few nights ago Philip spent the night away from home, and when he called to tell me goodnight, I told him that it was reminiscent of when we were courting.  My heart leaped when he said, "I'd court you all over again!"  As a matter of fact, those words resound in my head on a daily basis.  I cherish every moment that we have together, and I love that he does the same.  We recently discovered that we had a weekend with no commitments and when I was checking with him to see if we had anything planned, he responded with, "SHHH!!!  Don't tell anyone!"  Five minutes later he had three people try to make plans, and he turned them down, telling them that we were going into hiding for the weekend.  That speaks volumes to me, as one of my love languages is "quality time".  When I see him purposely set aside time and guard it fiercely against the onslaught of endless activities,  nobody could ever convince me that I was anything other than deeply loved and highly valued!  I am so very grateful, and I breathe a prayer of thanks to the Lord every day for blessing me with a love that has shown itself to be "exceedingly, abundantly above all that I could ask or imagine..." 

Surprise!

    Three weeks ago, we drove my mom back to where she lives with my sister in Va. As we did, our car broke down. My sister and her husband graciously offered their van to take to FL to complete our trip. There were no rental cars available, so we took them up on it. Our car has been there ever since, and we needed to go get the car. Conveniently, the weekend after our return was also the weekend of my mom's surprise 70th birthday party. My sister Cheryl had also planed to get Sarah that weekend to go to her home. So, we were all at Lynn's home for very good reasons but the most important was mom's party. However she was completely unaware of this at the time.
    My mom's friend was to come get her and take her some place while we went to the church to set up. Her friend was late and it made us late getting to the church. However, when we got there, we had our choice of where to have the event. An air conditioned room that was already set up, or a pavilion that was totally not. We took the room.  All was set up & the last person arrived, just before mom got there. Mom was very surprised. It turned out perfectly.
    Only God could plan our car to brake down, Cheryl to have time off and want to get Sarah, Sarah to have stayed with Lynn while Paul and I went back home, all necessitated going to Lynn's home, and the church only had that weekend available. This all worked out for mom's party to be a total surprise. Sometimes God surprises us too.
    A man makes his plans, but his steps are ordered by The Lord.

The Same.

     This morning I read several Bible passages about love. I need more in my life. The fact that I have become too dogmatic and isolating for my own good, has recently become apparent to me. Love has nothing to do with being right all the time, but everything to do with what God wants.
     I hear all the time from people who have not really read the Bible deeply that the vengeful God of Israel could not possibly be the same as the God who sent us Jesus in the Christian Bible. This morning's paassages spoke the exact opposite. This God is One. This God loves profoundly.
     From Exekiel 33:10 and on God makes an passionate plea for the wicked to turn from sin because He is not willing that any should perish. He sent Exekiel to be a watchman and warn that God was upset with His people's sin. He sent Exekiel to plead for them to return to God and forsake idols of unrighteousness. His reasons are, He loves His people, wants to feed them personally, and like a father speaking to a child He says, "Do not make me punish you for this, turn away from wrong."
     In Romans 8 Paul tells us we can not turn from wrong doing, but on this point, God again made a way. Not wanting that any should perish, God gave us His righteousness. The worst of all sinners, even I, can have flat out righteousness that gains salvation from the death of Jesus and belief in His resurrection. Out of love, He said our past was over we could have His life. To read of grace and love in both parts of the Bible is to truly understand the plan God has for us. Believe and be saved today.

   Here is the passage from Exekiel 33:10-16 that shows us the loving God of Israel:

10 “And you, son of man, say to the house of Israel, Thus have you said: ‘Surely our transgressions and our sins are upon us, and we rot away because of them. How then can we live?’ 11 Say to them, As I live, declares the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live; turn back, turn back from your evil ways,for why will you die, O house of Israel?

12 “And you, son of man, say to your people, The righteousness of the righteous shall not deliver him when he transgresses, and as for the wickedness of the wicked, he shall not fall by it when he turns from his wickedness, and the righteous shall not be able to live by his righteousnesswhen he sins. 13 Though I say to the righteous that he shall surely live, yet if he trusts in his righteousness and does injustice, none of his righteous deeds shall be remembered, but in his injustice that he has done he shall die. 14 Again, though I say to the wicked, ‘You shall surely die,’ yet if he turns from his sin and does what is just and right, 15 if the wicked restores the pledge, gives back what he has taken by robbery, and walks in the statutes of life, not doing injustice, he shall surely live; he shall not die.16 None of the sins that he has committed shall be remembered against him. He has done what is just and right; he shall surely live.

Running on Empty

   

There are many days that I roll out of bed and hit the ground running. I fly from one task or appointment to the next rarely breaking stride. Lately, however, I find myself simply running out of steam. I fail to accomplish what I set out to do and end up frustrated. This is one of those days.
    I was late for my first appointment thanks to an uncooperative child. I had to cancel my next appointment due to locking myself out of the house and having to send my daughter through a window. My third appointment lasted longer than I had planned for. After losing my keys for the second time in one day and then driving 35 minutes (arriving 15 minutes late), my fourth appointment was cancelled due to an illness.
   In the midst of all of this, I was dealing with a whole mess of what I will call "stuff". Today feels like a total bust. Nothing accomplished. Nothing resolved. Exhausted. Depleted. Defeated.
   Today is coming to a close, and I am already trying to plan for what is to come when my eyes open tomorrow morning. These are the times when I desperately need to be refilled and recharged with hope for a new day. So for tonight, I will find comfort in Romans 15:13 which says "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit".