Go down and start the video if it isn't already playing. Go ahead I'll wait.
I remember the first time I saw this video. I cried. This man
absolutely got me. I had no idea who he was but, he really understood
this completely misunderstood person with no peer group. I danced my
dance for Lafayette, IN. No one got it. Everyone laughed. I tried to
change everything about myself and buy the clothes my mom liked. I
gained weight. I went through college. This song held power over me
and gave me hope that one day I would find the group of bee people that
understood my point of view.
I started my student
teaching year and something horrid happened. The nice man in the video
that so completely understood me, died. A stupid cocaine overdose. I
cried then, I cry now. I learned everything about him then.
I
was teaching at a high school here in Indiana when McCutcheon High
School said that they were doing a spaces limited all area high school
convocation to honor and educate about Shannon Hoon and his life. I
thought, "How nice." We went from the high school where I was teaching
and they told his story. I learned that he had attended McCutcheon and
that he was from Lafayette, Indiana. The teachers who had taught him in
school told his story. Everyone cried.
I moved away from
Lafayette, but the power of the song never left me. It moves me every
time I hear it. After a 10 year journey in other places, I moved back
to Lafayette. I am finding a place again in this town.
This
morning I was driving out to get doughnuts for my family. I was
driving on Veterans Memorial Parkway on the south side and listening to
my favorite Sirius XM station for 90's alternative, Lithium, the song
came on. It hit me. Here I was on a road that he only knew as 350
South, looking at buildings he never saw, crying because here I was
again in this same town.
Only this time, the Bee Girl
has found a home and place to truly be me. But more on that next week.
Let's just say, I found a place where I truly fit in.
When I think of thirteen years, I think of how long that really is
Thirteen years of birthday celebrations
Diaper changes
Coffee together on the porch
Both laughing and sorrow that brought us to tears
Back scratches
Stealing kisses a midst the chaos of raising eight children
Growth beyond measure
So grateful he chose me
And now we celebrate him once again
Birthday and Father's day within eight days of each other
I pray that we encourage, build up and fully show the love we have
For God knew that day I would marry my best friend
My husband earned his Ph.D. in chemistry from Penn State last month. For the past seven years he has been a full-time graduate student working toward the goal of becoming a chemistry professor. Instead of feeling a sense of relief at this accomplishment, he feels as if his degree is worthless. Over the past eight months he's applied for more than seventy jobs and hasn't received a job offer yet. Thus far he's been ranked one of the top three candidates at two universities and one of the top two candidates at another college. A few days ago when he was sharing his feelings with me, I reminded him that we have so much to be thankful for such as a loving marriage and three precious children. A job is important, particularly since I resigned from my job in January to become a stay-at-home mom, but it's not one of the most important things in our life. Yesterday I found out through Facebook that a nurse who worked with me while each of my three children were in the NICU from 2008 to 2012 became a widow on April 4th. Her husband was five months younger than my husband, and our husbands grew up only a couple of miles away from each other. Contemplating what she and her two daughters have been going through the past two months really put our job search frustrations into perspective. It's very easy to allow our circumstances to determine our perspective, but I experience more joy and contentment when I use perspective to interpret my circumstances.
I saw a Facebook post today from a friend who announced that it is her husband's birthday. The thing that caught my attention, though, was how she followed that by announcing how he has blessed and enriched her life. I could feel the love, joy and gratitude that she has for him. It just seemed to bubble up out of her soul! It made my heart happy to read it, because there is so much negativity toward love and marriage these days, and there seems to be a special niche for husband bashing. The media seems especially harsh (in my humble opinion), as most sitcoms portray the husband, at best, a bumbling fool who has to be reigned in by his oh-so-wise and sarcastic wife. Commercials do the same thing, and I'm sorry to say that I frequently hear women that I know complain or even ridicule their husbands in the presence of others, and sometimes even right in front of their husbands.
So I find it refreshing and life-giving when I see and hear someone speak highly of her husband. I gravitate toward those women, and learn from them. I have found and joined groups such as "The Happy Wives' Club", "Unveiled Wife", and "Time Warp Wife" on Facebook, because they all encourage us to love, honor, respect and inspire our husbands. I have found that, in doing so myself, I receive just as much, if not more of everything that I give to my husband. Now, I am in no way perfect, and I am well aware that marriage is not always sunshine and roses, but I know that there is potential for a far better relationship when I treat my husband with honor and respect. And it inspires me when I hear a wife praise her husband, and talk about how much life he pours into her. It is a beautiful thing, a rare thing these days, it seems. I want to be one of those wives!
I have a very good friend that is 74 years old.
She has pearls of wisdom, I simply love.
After having a particularly trying week, she said
to me, there are things that are a pain in the butt,
and then, there are real problems.
This week was mostly a pain in the butt.
Sarah got sick at school, snakes under my
house, money came 2 weeks later then
scheduled, hot weather & no air conditioning,
20+ spiders found at 3 a.m. while the dog, just
had, to go potty for some unknown reason.
Then the real stuff hit. A loved one with a
disease that can kill, scar & change all you
know, very quickly. I simply want to hurt the
one responsible for it, but who's to blame?
This is when, I crawl into Gods arms, remember
my friends words of wisdom and everything is
put into perspective. In the end, everything
happens for a reason, & we are better people
afterwards, then if we had no problems at all.
In this world you will have trouble, but have no fear,
for I have overcome the world- God
I remember Gene saying that he was skipping church to go see Dave. Gene felt that if anyone could be an encouragement to Dave in the midst of this crisis, who better than someone who has gone through the same thing. I couldn't agree more!
When we go through a tragedy we often wonder how anything good can come out of it. I don't believe that life tragedies are a result of us being displeasing to God. Jesus already bore our judgement and completed our reconciliation at the cross. God created us with the ability to make our own choices. Sometimes things happen as a result of choice. That January day, Gene made a choice to not secure his ladder for that last run up to the top, and our lives changed dramatically. Whether we have sustained trauma by our own choice or by the choice of someone else, God can still use our painful circumstances to help another person along the way.
That same Sunday that Gene missed church to be with Dave, there was a lady that came into our church who I had never seen before. I overheard her telling someone that her husband had recently passed away and that she felt like she needed to get herself back into church and find some hope. Fifteen minutes later as I stepped up to the platform to sing, I noticed that this lady was seated right next to another widow who had lost her husband in a tragic car accident more than 30 years ago. Coincidence??? I think not.
Today is my last puberty day. There will be two more in our family, but they will be Kurt's responsibility. We've laid out our plans--Your Plate or Mine, Barnes and Noble, and Bob Evans. Somewhere in there I'll give my now venerable talk about the birds and the bees, purity, and why every purse has a secret pocket. Iris will politely pretend she doesn't know any of this stuff even though older sisters have already filled her in. Mostly we'll just enjoy being women together.
