Mutual embrace

Rusty's story also is in the category of the unexplainable. I was present but unable to crossover into the realm of what was happening but what I was able to see still resonates in my memory .


After leaving critical care I became a Hospice nurse and remained so until May of 2014. Surprisingly I enjoyed this type of nursing. Certainly not because of the diagnosis that connected me to the people but because of other factors.


I had time to sit and really listen and "hear" a patient and their family should they chose to share. I was able, in a lot of instances, to help them live as much as they could while they were dying. I also could, with proper med management, alleviate most if not all of their pain and for the most part their anxieties. But the real nitty gritty stuff was the spiritual component.


Hospice provides chaplain services to all that choose to avail themselves. And sometimes they just talked to their nurse. Spiritual pain cannot be remedied by medicine. Sure I could zonk someone so that they felt nothing but this is not within the scope of nursing practice of Hospice nor would I want that decision on my shoulders.


Anyway-Rusty was mid-30's, had a lovely family and was dying of cancer. They lived in Emmitsburg MD. If you are not familiar with that town it is the "Catholic Capital" of MD as it is the site of Our Lady of Lourdes Shrine, has a Catholic College and a Catholic retirement center and nursing home.


I had ask Rusty if he would like chaplaincy services and he declined. Quite politely and charmingly nice. He was straightforward in just saying "I've never been into religion-I'm ok "


Several weeks passed and the call came "Please come-Rusty's dying."  I arrived and assessed him and the wife was right. He was in and out of consciousness and dying. Just then a van pulled up and 4 nuns emerged. I walked to the door and introduced myself and they asked could they pray for Rusty.
I asked the Mrs and she looked to Rusty and whether cognizant or not he nodded his head affirmative.


They prayed a simple prayer "Our Father...who are in heaven ...Hallowed be thy name...and when they finished, Rusty turned towards the wall-leaving us behind as it were, and began to weep profusely but not in an anguished sort of way but in an embracing sort of way saying" I didn't know--Oh God...I really didn't know....I am so sorry " and he died.


As sure as I sit here I know Rusty was communing with Our Father...who art in heaven... and it was a mutual embrace.