Sometimes things are just unexplainable. No matter how hard we try, God just does not fit in our box. Some things I just have to file under the song sheet "We will understand it better bye and bye" and then let go.
I 'd like to share two stories from my nursing career. I can't explain either as I was not privy to know the "inner goings on" but I know for a fact in both instances that it was an encounter with man and his Maker.
I was a critical care nurse for the first 20 years of nursing. While I was working at Memorial Hospital in Cumberland, which was regional shock trauma at the time, we received a man status post motorcycle accident. He was critically injured and it became apparent very quickly that he was not going to make it. Life support was just prolonging death not life
.
The strangest thing was-the knowledge of the impending accident must have left an indelible impression on his mind because the look of horror on his face was almost grotesque. Over the course of multiple days NOTHING changed that look.
At that time it took 3 days of Caloric tests for brain death protocol to be established and it had been determined that there was no brain response at all and tomorrow morning they would pull the plug.That night (11-7 shift) he was my patient. Around 5 a.m I went in to give him a bath. As I was bathing him I began to sing "Jesus Loves Me". I cannot recall any other time that I have ever done this before or since but in retrospect I realize I was a conduit for "HIS love reaching."
I had my back to him as I was doing his lower extremities when George, the respiratory therapist, came in the room to do vent checks etc. His immediate reaction was "Oh my goodness-what happened to him" quite emphatically, I might add.
I looked at George and said "What" and he pointed to the patient. The patient had a smile on his now relaxed face. We called the whole unit it to see as we had all been so aware of the emotional pain exhibited on this mans face.He died a couple of hours later, still smiling and relaxed. I honestly believe he was cradled in the arms of Jesus!
Next time we'll hear Rusty's story.
[1Jo 4:4-6 NKJV] 4 You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. 5 They are of the world. Therefore they speak [as] of the world, and the world hears them. 6 We are of God. He who knows God hears us; he who is not of God does not hear us. By this we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error.
This totally takes the pressure off. If a person you are speaking to won't hear you, then either God is working on them still, or they are of Satan. Either way, you have been a light to them and have done your job by speaking the Word of God. The Word won't return void, scripture says. Most people think this means that anyone who hears the Word will convert. Not necessarily so. If they are from the world, then the purpose of the word in their life, may, be meant to condemn them on the day of judgment. Do not presume to know what God's purpose for His word is with every person. Unless you have a gift from God to do so, you can't see what is in their heart.
We may only be vessels for God to do His work through, the Holy spirit convicts and brings to salvation. It's way cool to be a part of God's plan when we get to reap the harvest though. I have resigned myself to simply speak the Word when prompted to and let God do what He will do. I use to beat myself up if someone didn't ask Jesus into their heart. As if my ability to speak the Word would or would not lead one to Christ. Thankfully, "For by grace are you saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, lest anyone should boast". So take the pressure off of yourself and simply speak the word. Those of God will want to hear more. Don't worry about those that are not interested. He may still be dealing with them, or let them go to their own devices. Either way, it's up to God ultimately, not you. Remember, a person convinced against their will, is of the same opinion still, and if they can be talked into something, they can be talked back out of it as easily.
We all have our story and it is part of the Bigger story..HIS story.Recently I attended a funeral of the husband of one of the back-up singers for the band Longing for Eden. Longing for Eden was doing the music for the funeral.As I listened to the lead female vocalist comment on the song they were about to sing "It is well" relating snippets of things that they had been through this year and yet their stance is "Through it all-Our eyes are on you.. It is well ...with my soul.
My mind began to think of the songs this band had written on their CD "Heaven's Inside Me" and on things I knew to be true about the members. Jeanne, lead female vocalist, had a major health crisis and almost died in the last year, their house burnt almost to the ground, completely gutted and the family is still displaced. And yet the lilt of her voice carried us all to the realization that "HE" makes the difference in every circumstance and we can sing..It is Well--Oh what a Blessed Assurance!!
Gene, her husband, the bass guitarist, suffered his own physical trauma with Dr's stating he would never be able to use his arm again, but he sure can play a mean base. He wrote a song on their CD born from his pain of another set of circumstance's that deeply affected their family, quite simply stating that "Even in This" however hideous that turn of events, we will trust you and draw on your strength.
Eric,male vocalist, sings his story in Long Lost Years and how it affected him and his family and yet today his family is intact and God is opening doors for him. The band leader and guitarist Phil expressing his journey through doubts and fears of finding and laying hold of God's grace in "Heaven's Inside Me." Last fall he lost his father and I know that there are many times he plays and sings while enduring great physical pain.
The drummer and back up singer Kevin and Lydia have opened their hearts, family and home by adopting two siblings and all the rigors and changes and that go with that decision. And I could go on and on....But I'm brought back to the moment.
A now they stand there singing with their hearts broken for their band-mate and dear friend. And what are they singing?
Grander earth has quaked before
Moved by the sound of His voice
Seas that are shaken and stirred
Can be calmed and broken for my regard
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well
My eyes are on You
It is well with me
Far be it from me to not believe
Even when my eyes can't see
Will be thrown into the midst of the sea
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well
So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You Lord
Through it all, through it all
It is well with me.
Read more: Bethel Music - It Is Well Lyrics | MetroLyrics
I went onto Facebook this past weekend. I rarely do that because it's generally depressing and takes a bunch of my time away from other things. However, I saw something from someone that smacked me in the chest. Not literally, but I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest after reading the post.
Bad things happen in life to all of us. The constant things in my life have been God and the Bible. What happens when those things are in question? I have been there. It was simply Hell on earth. That is the only appropriate description I have to give for it.
I grew up knowing that I could always pray to God, that His word was true and correct, and that He loved me. Things happened that turned that all upside down for me. I told God to go away and I didn't want to hear from Him any longer. This distance between us went on for six years. When I had a problem, I didn't pray or read the Bible. I couldn't because I no longer believed.
I knew somewhere in my heart of hearts that God would not take my cousins wife away without a better plan for her. I had prayed that she would wake from her coma based upon the scriptures, "Come boldly to My throne of grace and obtain mercy in your time of need." "Ask and you Will receive that your joy may be full." I mean ya can't get any more plain then that. So why did God, who is all powerful and nothing happens without His approval, take her away from her family? I wasn't asking for something evil or bad. So I told God to go away. At the end of six horrible years of nothing, I finally said, "HELP"! "What ever you do to me has to be better then this!" "I don't want to come back, but I want, to want to come back, please help me!" I began a journey back to God. He showed me why He chose to take her to heaven rather then heal her. He showed me things I had not thought of. At the end He said, "Remember those six years without Me?" I said, "Yes"! He said, "I don't want you to ever forget them and I want you never to go back there again." I was like, no problem, I totally got it God!
So when I see others having issues with God, religion, the Bible or anything surrounding Him, I get it. My heart breaks and I know what it's like. It just sucks! When others go through these things and it SMACKS you, pray! Be thankful that it isn't you, and tell them you love them. Sometimes just knowing they are loved is what they need right then.
There are times God gives an open door to walk right through, but as you walk through it, you wonder, what is on the other side and how are the other details of walking through this door going to be worked out? This is called faith and trust.
We did not receive a neon sign but, Sarah did receive a scholarship to a private Christian school. Not only that, but our friend paid the twenty nine dollar registration fee on our behalf ahead of time, without a request to do so. This scholarship includes all fees, as well as five school shirts. It was not a neon sign, but the door couldn't open any wider. So we took it as a huge YES, this is the door to walk through.
So, we are intrepidly walking through this door. We still don't have a date for Paul's shoulder surgery, know when or if my coworker is coming back to work, how the lawn in WV is going to be kept trim, or if Paul's disability is going to go through. So we trust. When others question as to how all the details will be worked out or weather we are going to get rid of our home in WV, I simply say, "I don't know, I'm not God and He will deal with the details." This is not entirely new for us to trust God, but this level of trust is new. Does is freak us out? Yeah, kinda, some days more then others. However, we know that He works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Based upon this, we walk through the open door.
Well, I still haven't closed, on the house, that is. Closing date was 5/6 and at the last minute a glitch.Along with ALL the other delays not totally unexpected. This is the VERY reason I have NEVER prayed for patience -HaHa .... Seriously though, for real!
And yet I find that I am discovering little rich treasures and my walk with God is re-aligning or maybe I should say I finally find myself embracing truths re: finances and His guidance in all things and other things that I have not yet labeled and it has become precious to me. Even to the point that I have, now, prayed for patience, I have slowed down and begun to THANK HIM in this phase of the journey and promised, with His enablement, that I will be content. AND I choose and want to learn what He is teaching me.
The day started out fine but took a turn for the worse. I got my monthly visit, and I am detoxing. Not eating any sugar, dairy or simple carbs. This, as I am told, has made me a bit more cranky lately. I went to the computer repair store and parked on the street in the properly designated area. All I had to do was pull up, then back into the space, since there were two open right together, simple right? After leaving the computer repair place, I got into my van and began to drive to the post office. To my shock and amazement, I saw a bright yellow thing on my windshield, while driving. I was like, I know that isn't a ticket! Ah, yeah, it was. For what?!? Parking too far away from the curb, seriously?!? I WAS LIVID!
Thankfully, I went to the wrong station. I showed them the ticket and they explained it was a borough and not a state matter. I went back to work, proceeded to slam doors, make horrible faces and tell my coworkers & boss what a horrible thing was perpetrated upon sweet little me. I called my husband, who told me not to go to the station and yell at them, as I wanted to do, but rather ask how far up on the curb they wanted me to park? I am aggressive, when I am mad. Paul is passive aggressive. He helps put things into perspective so I don't make a complete butt of myself. Praise God for Paul.
I had to wait till later to leave work, by then I had calmed down somewhat. I went into the lobby. Nobody was there. I pushed the button about fifty times over the course of thirty minutes. This did not help my disposition. Finally, a tall dark haired, handsome gentleman, came out and said, "Oh, no body is here? I'm not here either though." I said puzzled, "it looks like you are here to me." He explained that he was off the clock an hour ago. I said, "Oh, well thank you for helping me then." I said, "I got this ticket and wanted to know how far up on the curb I was suppose to park?" He looked puzzled taking the ticket in hand he said, "How far away were you parked? Oh, it says here 25 inches, the state law is 12 but we allow 18 inches." I explained that I had no idea how that could happen because I stepped from my vehicle onto the curb. I wasn't far away enough to step onto the street. He was very nice and professional and explained that if I would like to take the matter up with the officer that assigned the ticket, she would be there on Wednesday. I said "But that would take me past the five day time allowance and I would have to pay $40 instead of $20. He wrote on the ticket and explained that since he was somewhat of a boss around there, I would have more time. The five days was for those they had to track down and I had just received the ticket that day. I was not mean and nasty but my demeanor was stern. I wanted to know what my options were. He again mentioned to come back on Wednesday. I thanked him for his help and said I would do so. Later on, I remembered, as I drove backward, I could have in fact put my back tire out in traffic too far but still have been close enough the curb to step out of my van without realizing the back tire was in violation. I was like, OHHHHH, Opps! I also found out when I went back Wednesday, that I was actually speaking the chief of police. Um wow! I am so glad I wasn't a total raving wench, to him. Also another officer asked if I needed help with the door just before I went back to the computer shop as he saw I had a large computer in my arms. I said, "I think I have it but thank you very much." So once again, God had my back. He didn't let me make a total fool of myself and helped me realize that police aren't mean, they are trying to keep the public safe and our vehicles safe from harm as well. Yes, I was totally wrong. When I went back, I paid the ticket, apologized, and explained how I later realized my error. Unfortunately I was unable to speak to either the chief or the officer but I am fairly certain that the message was relayed as I the lady who took the ticket smiled and said it was O.K.
