Mean

 This morning started off like every other morning.... fighting with my daughter to get her to get ready for school. I was still irritated from last night due to kids not respecting boundaries or following house rules. I would like to tell you that I "Let it Go" and handled everything in a gracious and loving way, but I would be lying.
   I blew it. Again......
  My husband told me flat out that I was being mean. I wish I could say he was wrong, but he is right. I have allowed daily stresses with challenging children to suck the kindness right out of me. I see every negative thing while the positives have to be pointed out.
  I want to blame it on the kids. I mean....if they would just listen.... I want to blame it on my husband.  I mean... if he would just do this instead of that...... I want to blame it on my recent health crisis. You know....if I felt better.... If this one hadn't run away... If that one hadn't got in trouble.... If there was more money in the bank..... If she was more organized.... If they pitched in and helped more.... If the dogs hadn't torn out the trash.... If the house was clean..... If the stove and dryer worked properly.... If....If...If....
  The truth is..... I am letting little things become super sized, and instead of unleashing my cares and frustrations to God, I am spewing them out on my family. This is NOT the legacy I want to leave for my children. This is NOT giving my husband any incentive to spend time with me. This is NOT how I want to be perceived.
   God, please help me to lay down the stresses and speak to my children with kindness. Please change my outlook and my attitude. Help me to believe that when You said that You work all things together for good... You meant it! Help me to trust You. Help me to allow You to work in and through me. Help me to be a blessing to my family and friends....and when I feel like I am about to blow a gasket, please help me to.....