If you read my blog last week between 6-8 a.m., this is essentially the same blog. However, I put a different one at 9 a.m. if you would like to read it. I meant to reschedule this before it went up.
I myself had an untimely pregnancy. I chose to give my son to a couple to adopt. I was not ready to be a parent in any way. The benefits are; the mom chooses if she wants to remain in contact with the family and child or not, whom the parents will be. Everything is in her control until the day she gives the child over to their new parents. At that point, all control is relinquished. The biological parents may choose weather or not to see their child again with a closed or open adoption. I chose to have open contact when desired for either party. It was awkward for the first few years. However after 17 years, our families get along well and things are no longer awkward. I speak to my son on the phone, have attended birthday parties, a track meet, their church, stayed in their home and they ours.
There were adversities also. My boss almost fired me, because he was against my choice. Then the company was taken over by another, and he was fired instead. The biological father said he would only give me money for an abortion at first. Later he was a bit more helpful.
What are the side effects of this decision? Usually, around my son Luke's birthday, I am agitated and overreact. Sometimes I have a melt down and cry till I can't cry any longer. I use to drink myself into oblivion until Luke's birthday and mothers day, which are close together or the same day, had passed. Thankfully, God has healed me and given me a new perspective on alcohol. The emotional toll is difficult, but I have a peace too. Luke has been well cared for. We have a relationship. Best of all, I had the opportunity to give a precious gift to a couple longing for a child.
The side effects on the children may be that they feel abandoned, have spiritual issues often, and may act out to get attention. Often they don't feel like they belong, especially if a natural born child is in the home. They usually are very loved and well cared for. They are thought of as a precious gift and the adoptive parents are usually financially sound because it is very expensive to adopt. Most of the time the parents are a little older too. So they bring more wisdom to the child's life. Adoption is difficult but it is a wonderful path that I recommend to some. Not all are meant to take that path.
To those that did not have to make a similar choice, I ask; Please give compassion and understanding for what ever choice others make. One does not know what they would do fully, unless they themselves are in that situation. This may be a touchy subject but untimely pregnancies, that end in adoption can be a blessing to all involved.
God works all things together for good, to them who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
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