There was a time in my life, after facing personal failure, when I felt God was finished with me as a minister. I knew He loved me but I never thought I could fulfill my destiny. One day the Lord spoke these words in my heart in what seemed audible, "I haven't changed my mind about you. Have you changed your mind about me? The Bible explains that through our sin, we are alienated from God in our mind (Col 1:21). The separation is not real! The Apostle John said it this way, If our heart condemns us God is greater than your heart (1 Jn 3:20).Paul said, Nothing can separate you from the love of God.The separation you feel from God only exists in your mind. Jesus has paid for your sin. God knew what He was getting when He got you;.nothing that has happened is a surprise to Him. Get up, get back in communion with God and experience the blood of Jesus cleaning your guilty conscience, because He hasn't changed His mind about you. Now that you know God is still for you, what is the first thing you want to do with your life?
~Dr. Jim Richards
Lately I have been reading a lot of posts and books written by Dr. Jim Richards. He was instrumental in my husband's receiving a life-changing revelation of God's grace a few years ago, and the above quote caught our attention the other day, because Philip had felt this exact thing at one time. When Philip and I were first getting acquainted, he told me that he had once pastored a church and had been very wounded by things that had happened at that time. So wounded, in fact, that he tried to walk away from God, and didn't care if he ever ministered again. Then a few weeks into our courtship, he called to tell me about an encounter that he had with God the night before that led him to believe that God may not be finished with him in a ministry capacity, and he wanted to know if I would be comfortable with (or even willing to consider) the idea of possibly being the wife of a pastor if that is where God was leading him. Interestingly, I had just been with some Messianic Jewish friends that week and learning that it was the season during which they traditionally read the book of Ruth, and I had just been reading it again, so during my conversation with Philip that night, Ruth's words to Naomi were playing in my head, and I shared that with him: "Entreat me not to leave you, or to turn back from following after you; For wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts you and me." (Ruth 1:16)
For the last several years we have been seeking the Lord regarding His plans for us, and in the last few months He has been reconnecting us with people from our hometown, some who have a similar heart and vision for ministry, and others who are looking for something real. We live halfway between our home church and our hometown, and we have noticed that lately our travels have been much more often in the direction of home. We have also begun to get a sense that "It is time", and a couple of weeks ago, a friend called my husband and told him that we were on his heart and that in praying for us, he felt he heard the Lord say those very words. We are now in process of seeking the Lord for the specifics, and waiting on His direction and timing to bring everything together. We are eagerly anticipating this next part of our journey...
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