Reverse

I recently attended a youth conference with our Sr High youth group.  I was there as a leader, but if you have ever been an adult leader on a youth trip you know that there is so much for you yourself to learn on these trips.  We were scheduled to leave Friday afternoon.  The days leading up to the trip I became overwhelmed with fear and anxiety about leaving my kids.  I love those crazy kids.  If it were finaciallly possible, I would prefer to take them on every trip we go on.  But the fear and anxiety, that was straight from Satan. Then Friday morning I became very ill.  No fever or chills, just not keeping anything down ill.  I had every reason to say, "Well there you go,  I Should just stay home and snuggle the kiddos all weekend!"  Whenever I am about to dig deep into God's word, and learn things that will transform my life....Satan gets a bit nervous.  He tries all he can to get me to stay in my comfort zone.  To help me to rationalize why I sould just go with the flow of what everyone else is doing or would do in my situation.  Trust me, He tells me these lies often.  I prayed.  I was reminded that when I am trying to follow God's leading, I need to do the last thing he asked me to do.  Just do what that last thing he asked of me is, until I hear something different.  

So, I went.  I was tired, and slept in the van in the middle of a parking lot the first night during the opening worship set.  But I made it in time to hear about Daniel.  How he lived in reverse of the culture around him.  How he stood when others bowed, and he bowed when others stood.  This weekend was life changing.  I realized that how may things I do out of fear.  Also, how many things I don't stand for because, honestly, I am a pastor's wife.  I just don't want my husband to have to get an ear full because I do things different from someone else.  

Little things and big things.  Hand raising during worship, what brands I choose to put on my children.  Conversations I am called to have out of love for God's people.  I need to live in reverse.  Reverse from our culture, and from what Satan would like me to back in to.  It may not be comfortable.  But, awkward is awesome!