Angst

I am suffering from a lack of direction today. What is important? Why am I doing this? There's a distinct lack of cosmic clarity and everything is falling flat. It is one thing to push through a difficult circumstance or project with the emotional equivalents of fan mail and theme music in your soul. It is quite another when you aren't very sure what you do matters anymore or if it does that you care.

These can be bad days. The worst are the days without angst-- days of emptiness.

Lucky for me my response to that is anger. The kind of anger children draw on compels me to ask why was I created if this is all it means. There are all those boozy, opiate answers. There are the mean answers your mother tasered you with when you were bad. But the answer to all the ways we ask, "Do you see me?" has already been given...

"Yes."