Resignation

 Her alarm goes off. She quickly shuts it off and checks the time. The tasks of the day immediately rev up in her mind. She takes a deep breath and simply prays "God, please be with us today, and draw our hearts closer to you and to each other."  Another deep breath.... Time to wake the kids.
   She wakes them and gives them instructions to get ready, and then she jumps in the shower. As soon as she finishes, she calls out to the youngest to come to take her shower. Instead of compliance, she is met with repeated screams of "I am NOT taking a shower!!!". She feels anger creeping in as she repeats her request. Still met with defiance, the request now becomes a demand.
   A power struggle ensues..... over mismatched clothes, backtalk, and hygiene. Progress is slowly made as the youngest at least gets dressed (no shower because now they are out of time). Then finally... a knock down, drag out, smack fest between her daughters over which dog should be in which kennel pushes her mounting frustration over the edge and then erupts as it spews out in all kinds of ugliness. Yelling, scolding, shaming, swatting, followed immediately by guilt and disbelief at the things that were flying out of her mouth. She knows she shouldn't have said that or done this. She feels like a failure. If she was good Mom.....a successful Mom....her kids would listen, right?  They would cooperate. They would be loving and compassionate toward each other. They would be respectful. They would sneeze glitter. Their giggles would be like the sound of ringing hand bells...
   She is late for her appointment.....again. As soon as they return home, she retreats in order to recompose herself. It is only 9:30 am and she still has the whole day ahead of her. She prays. She confesses her shortcomings to God. Not that He isn't already aware, but to let Him know that she knows her own faults. She tells Him that based on how her children behave....she must be a failure as their Mom. She tries to turn in her resignation. And then....
    ....She hears Him asking "What about me? Am I a failure? My children don't listen. My children defy me in their stubbornness. My children power struggle with me. My children lash out at each other over unimportant things".....It dawns on her that SHE is His stubborn child, but her faults and shortcomings have no bearing on His Sovereignty. He is still God. He is still her loving Father........
    ...She still resigns.....
.......She resigns herself to make amends in the form of chocolate chip cookies.