Who Am I?

  A few nights ago I had a chance encounter. I was running behind for a meeting, and by the time I arrived it had already started. The room was dimly lit with a few scattered candles and my eyes tried to adjust. As I was scanning the room for an empty seat I felt a tug on my sleeve. I sat down next to her. When she spoke, I almost did a full body shudder as I realized who I was sitting next to.....
   Ten years ago she had entered my world like a whirlwind. Life with her was like riding a gasoline filled roller coaster that had lost its brakes. She was the reason that social workers changed their cell phone numbers and foster parents quit. In our house (and probably a lot of others) she is still the poster child for "what not to do".
   She moved in and unpacked her baggage. Drug abuse and distribution. Alcoholism. Gang and domestic violence. Pregnancies and abortion. Pregnancies and deliveries. Reckless behavior. Suicide attempts. Police involvement. Parole requirements.
   Because of her... I literally chased a grown man out of my house at 4 A.M. He jumped off of the roof and over a fence to get away. Because of her... My van was stolen by her drunk friends and wrecked. Because of her... Police were dispatched to my home at 2 A.M. when one of her "associates" burst into my basement and put a gun to her head. Because of her... Over $2000 went missing out of my bank account in one night.
I could go on and on....
   I sat politely and listened as she spoke to the group. She was just four days out of prison (what did she do now?). She had nowhere to go (that's what you get). She lost custody of her son (he deserves better). She wanted to die (can't believe she is still alive). She needs to change her life (heard it all before). She thinks that God must have a purpose for her life (   o_O      ). She wants to go to church with me tomorrow (gulp). Does she have to dress up??? Because she only has a pair of jeans and a couple of tops. She doesn't even have a coat.

Deep breath.....

   Who am I to decide if she is sincere or if this is just one more failed attempt to change? Can I see how God is moving on her heart??? Who am I??? I am a human. Just like her. I am a mom. Just like her. I am seeking answers. Just like her. I am struggling financially. Just like her. At times I feel alone. Just like her. I am one poor choice away from wrecking my world. Just like her. I am passionately loved by God. Just like her.
   No. I can't fix her. No. I can't force her to see or do things my way. No. I don't know how God is going to rescue her. No. I can't offer her a place to stay. No. I don't have any money to give to her. Yes. I can give her a ride. Yes I can sit with her at church. Yes. I can greet her with a smile and a hug. Yes. I can open my closet and give her some of my clothing. NO STIPULATIONS - Not because she earned it or deserves it.

Who am I??? ...... I am the embodied heartbeat of God.