Unreliable



I am Unreliable
Feeling Indefinable
It is Inconceivable
Planning one more Day
Without health, Impossible
Goals are now Unreachable
Though I’m not Unteachable,
It’s hard to find a Way
I must learn
To Reach for You
With You, find
The New and True
Trusting more,
Believable
Others’ help,
Receivable
Your new plans
Are on the Table
I’ll rely on You
The Able

HIS Story

This week I am sharing from John Eldredge' book "Epic." He tells that usually we skip through the book of beginnings-Genesis and go quickly to "The Fall". But he reminds us that during creation which included, of course, the Grand Canyon, Alps, Waterfalls,  Sunrises,Tropical paradises, mountains, lakes  and ALL things beautiful He said "It was good."


When He created us-man and woman-made in HIS image- He said "It was VERY good". In HIS story, back at the beginning of our time on earth, a great glory was bestowed upon us. We were more glorious than all of the aforementioned things. This is mind boggling to say the least. I mean (my words,not John's :) we were walking around in the garden conversing with God for goodness sake!! How glorious is that!!! (Now back to John:) We've heard about original sin but not enough about original glory, which comes before sin and is deeper in our nature.


God created us in His image, with powers like unto His own--the ability to reason, to create, to share intimacy, to know joy. He gives us laughter and wonder and imagination. And above all else, He endows us with that one quality for which he is most known-He enables us to love.


 "He has planted eternity in the human heart" Ecclesiates 3:11 There is a story that we can't seem to escape which is written on the human heart. There are longings which are unexplainable. Maybe  the stories we read about or watch that move us to tears or bring joy are really telling us something about the true Story into which we were born.


It is the story we are living in. May we play our part well.

Blessed and Thankful as We

    As Paul and I raise our daughter Sarah, she asks many questions about the past. How things were when we were young and when our parents were young. She wants to better understand why people did some of the things they did, "Back-in-the-day". Since Paul and I have an age difference of eighteen years between us, and he was older then most fathers, when Sarah was born, our experiences are somewhat varied. Also, Paul's dad was older, when Paul was born and there were eleven years between his mom and dad. In essence, Sarah has the experiences of over one hundred years to glean from her parents and grand parents. Sarah tries to put all these experiences into her mind and understand how different things were then, as oppose to what she experiences now.
    Sarah could not understand why Paul's mom did not make home made bread in her older years, but did so all the time, when Paul was young. I explained, "Your grandma Jean, didn't have a Kitchen Aid Mixer, like mommy does. She had to mix the bread and kneed it by hand and that is hard work, especially when she was older and her hands would shake". I told Sarah that she and I would make bread together without the mixer soon, so that she would know what I was talking about. She protested, "NO, I have seen it on TV, I don't want to do that"!
   When I made Thanksgiving dinner in Jean's kitchen, several years ago, I literally only had a few knives, spoons, several bowls and not much else to work with. Not even a potato peeler, till I bought her one. I introduced her to The Pampered Chef products and she was amazed.
    Little does Sarah know, that I plan to make bread from scratch without a mixer today on Thanksgiving, since we are staying home and our big family dinner is on Saturday. I am doing this, in order to help us both be more thankful for all the tools we have.
    Thank you God for all the wonderful tools you have given us to make wonderful food to enjoy on this day of Thanksgiving. Thank you also for the food we have to eat and share, with friends and family. Please be with others that may not be as blessed and thankful as we. Amen.

thankful.

     I am thankful for the safety of my home. So many tonight are unsafe. I am thankful for the kindness of friends who hear. There are so many left unseen. I am thankful for a job to do. Many have no calling. I am thankful for the healing that has come. There is much brokenness to repair. God give us the grace to respond with giving and gratitude by helping the one next to us. For while we can not fix the big hurts of the world, we can help the small one next to us.

Butterfly Wings



Image from: http://www.webexhibits.org/causesofcolor/images/content/blueMorphoZ.jpg

When I am failing
Can no longer sing
Brush past me softly
With butterfly wings
Gentle reminder
Of Your tender care
Whisper like velvet
That You are still There
Touches from Heaven
So different they seem
I always notice
Awake in a Dream
Flashes of Beauty
One brush of Your Love
Hope, like a butterfly
Rises Above

Thankful for so many things,this being just a few...

I can remember way back when I was in elementary school and at lunch time we all had to fold our hands and say
 “Thank you for the world so sweet-Thank you for the food we eat -               
   Thank you for the birds that sing-Thank you God for everything”


My how times have changed. I do respect the fact that there are those that believe differently than myself. And one size does not fit all.  I try to live my christian life in such a way as to “let my light shine” but also to be sensitive and not be “in your face” with my beliefs. I have absolutely no problem with others who do not believe as I do or have a different lifestyle, we work together, worship together and share together and we disagree-agreeably. But what I really dislike is others of different persuasions and lifestyles trying to use politics or force or whatever the vehicle in an attempt to force their way of thinking on others. Or those that don’t believe at all believe they have the right to the public arena but I dare not celebrate my beliefs in public.

The world being created by such is trying to shape others into a mold of their choosing.BUT this way of thinking does not win!!!

 I still thank God for this world, and for my food, and for the birds that sing and I thank him for everything. I heard on Mission network news the other day that in spite of all that is going on that muslims are turning to Jesus at the rate of 1000 per day. Also, I remembered this morning of a precious Jewish lady that was dying. I visited her multiple times over those few weeks and one day she said to me in a hushed voice”Come here into the front room with me.” She stretched out  on the couch and said to me-“Look right there” and she pointed to a spot in front of the fireplace-“Do you see anything.” I told her-No-not really. She replied to me “Yesterday I saw Jesus standing there-and he’s still there-he must be real isn’t he?” This led to a conversation of “Yes-He is very real and if you want to you can  ask him to come live in your heart and he will” and I witnessed a staunch Jewish lady relax with only the peace that God himself brings.

These are mere tidbits-The moral of the story is this : The gospel of the Kingdom WILL be preached in all the world. The gates of hell SHALL not prevail AND as the times grow darker the light shines brighter, the darkness Cannot snuff out the light and HIS glory shall FILL all the earth as the waters cover the sea!

I am exceedingly thankful!!!



OH DEER...





'Tis the season once again in which everyone is posting on social media the things for which they are thankful.  This week I am thankful for the Lord's provision and protection once again...

Almost three years ago we bought a little green Kia Soul.  Green is my favorite color, although I have been rethinking that, at least with regard to green vehicles.  As a matter of fact, I don't believe that I will ever own another green vehicle.  EVER.  In the last two years, our Soul has been the victim of 5, count them: FIVE deer hits.  My husband's van added number 6 to the 2-year grand total on the same night that I hit #3 with the Soul.  We have joked about Alien Green being a deer magnet, being on a first-name basis with the owner of the body shop, and instructing the body shop to repaint it Blaze Orange, mix deer repellent into the paint, and add a cow catcher onto the grill and a 3-D decal of a shotgun to the hood...

All joking aside, this last hit occurred on the Interstate at 65 mph, just after midnight.  We hit so hard that the hood flew up and the driver's door jammed closed.  We wondered later why the airbags didn't deploy, although we were thankful that they didn't, especially after my coworkers told me about a recent recall involving airbags that have been exploding and firing metal shrapnel at crash victims!  After moving off the road to inspect the damage and determine if the car was still driveable, another car came along, hit the deer and went airborne, just like a scene out of The Dukes Of Hazzard.  I'm dating myself, I know.  We decided we needed to leave for our own safety when yet another vehicle came along and clipped the deer a third time.  We limped home in our poor little Soul, then my wonderful husband made the call to the insurance company to file the claim and arrange for a rental vehicle for me.  He worked as an insurance specialist for years, so he knew just what to do.  That, to me, was such a blessing and another example of the Lord's provision.  I am so blessed and grateful to the Lord for protecting us through all these "Oh deer!" moments, and for providing the husband who watches over me and cares for me in the most practical of ways.  







During This Time of Year

    This time of year is awful for ones weight. It starts in October with Halloween. The candy I buy to "give away", ah yeah! With our family it's, "CANDY, YUM"! I've learned not to buy it several weeks before Oct. 31st. I end up buying more, like twice before trick or treat night, it's ridiculous.
    My husband is the worst, for eating candy. This year I bought a Big bag of candy, I mean HUGE! I stashed it away and Paul STILL ate some, Ahh! The weather was dismal on trick or treat night, and there had been a "Trunk or Treat" near by, a few days before, so not many kids were out. Sarah helped a family in our church with a haunted porch, and Paul was in route to Florida, taking some stuff to our home there.
    I gave away lots of candy, and had plenty left over. I took some to the kids who helped with the haunted porch also and still had allot left. God had reminded me of an idea I heard a few years ago, of a way to use excess candy bars after Halloween, for Christmas. So, I was thrilled to have left over candy bars.
    The other night I decided to employ that idea. I usually start baking for Christmas, in October. This year, I just had not figured out my total plan for goodie trays. It's still evolving in fact.
    I took those candy bars out of the freezer and had Sarah smash them up. Then I put those into the cookie batter, instead of chocolate chips. I now have one item made and placed into the freezer for Christmas trays. The candy bar cookie idea turned out great.
    With a little information gathered a while back, and a reminder from my heavenly Father to put them to good use later, we can share them again, during this time of year.

Starving.

     There is a celebrity that decided to moon us all this week. She has no other talent or skill. She is famous for being famous. The public eye had started to tire of her and look away. So, she mooned us. Those of us UTTERLY uninterested in her behind were deluged with debate and discussion. She was considered brave and beautiful. really. Then, there was a scientist who is a bit of a nerd. He wore a racy shirt with scantily clad, but clad nonetheless, women all over it. He was shamed and his ideas not discussed. He was condemned as sexist by porn stars and preachers. The shirt was tacky. The celebrity a waste of my time.
     This week also saw the end of life for a man that sought nothing but help for the downtrodden. Peter Kassig was by all records a valiant and decent human being. He worked hard to feed the hungry and bring a light on human conditions in desperate need of improving. He went to war torn areas and tried to do some good. He was beheaded for it by people of the same religion he followed. This week, Saeed Abedini, a Christian man, sat in a cell damaged from two years of abuse. His crime was coming to Iran and building an orphanage. Saeed told a man helping him that he believed in Jesus. Saeed was arrested soon after. This week, families displaced by war, because they believe in Jesus, asked only for prayer. They were given aid by International Christian Concern. Speaking of that group, here is a link to all that happened in our world from their point of view: International Christian Concern
   But, my newsfeed was not filled with those stories. It was filled to the brim of PASSIONATE OPINIONS WITH ELOQUENT WORDS about the right or wrongness of this naked behind and that shirt. Please, I understand these things are funny diversions and they are good talking points with teens. Please do not make these things your entire concern. Google the needs of people in the world at war. The Johanites of Iraq, Christians in Nigeria, Buddhists in China, all of them have the right to choose what they believe and all of them need freedom from persecution. The beauty and glory of the Gospel I choose to follow is that it is everyone's free choice. Forcing others into it and forcing others away from it is wrong. Something must be done.

What I like about you.....

I have been working like a maniac over the past several days, so when I sat down to start writing this evening I looked at my 9 year old daughter and asked what I should write about. She replied "You should write about how much you love me."  We started discussing that topic and came up with 10 things that we like about each other or that we both like in general. Her list is first:

What I love about you (and me)

1. How we have fun together
2. How we both like kiwi
3. We both like the Steelers
4. Our favorite puppet from kid's church is Joe Crank (he's been in a bad mood for 20 years).
5. We both like to cuddle up with Dexter (the wiener dog).
6. We both like green.
7. We have a lot in common.
8. We were both born on the 11th day of our birth months (which both start with "J").
9. That you watch Cupcake Wars with me.
10. You let me wear your high heels to play

Now for my turn:  I love you because.....

1. When you are sleepy....you hold my hand (you also hold my hand underneath of the bathroom stalls)
2. You make me laugh
3. You give the best kisses
4. Even when we have spent the entire day together....you tell me that you missed me.
5. You still love princesses and believe in fairy tales
6. Even when you are scared or frustrated you try and try again
7. You play "Go Fish" with the dogs
8. You insist that you will still be sneaking into my bed when you are thirty and still living at home
9. You write sweet notes and draw pictures for the people you admire
10. You were an unexpected surprise and wriggled your way into my heart

Traveling

As part of my duties as a homeschooling mother, I am writing a curriculum teaching history through reading literature. No, that won't replace a solid history class, but it will immeasurably enrich it. As a hybrid history/literature some of my choices aren't obvious. The latest example is The Travels of Ibn Jubayr. I chose it to round out our understanding of the cultures of the Middle Ages. Ibn Jubayr is a Muslim, and his travels are to Mecca to perform Hajj. I was excited to learn about medieval modes of travel, ancient Muslim culture, and interactions between Christians and Muslims of that time. What I didn't expect was to be so impressed with Ibn Jubayr himself. His soft voice, so reverent and deferent to God, his praise for those who did good, his thoughtful appraisal of those who did bad, these all won my heart as well as my ears.

Some quotes.
"This world destroys all those who love it most, and it's sons it devours. The reward of God is the best treasure, and obedience to him is the most noble booty. There is no God but He."
"May God protect us from the abuse of His decrees."
"Enlightened men left weeping for religion, despairing of the happiness of the world, and assured of the portents of the Day of Judgement. To God belongs the future and the past."
"Yet on the whole, in comparison with the men, they are wretched and cheated. They see the venerated House and may not enter it, they gaze upon the blessed Stone but cannot touch it, and their lot s wholly one of staring and feeling the sadness that moves and holds them. They have nothing but tawaf at a distance."

At times I forget that just because someone's faith is different than mine doesn't mean they are hypocrites, and that faithful adherence to one's religion doesn't automatically make someone a bad person. Sometimes it makes them exemplary.

The Wedding

Image from: http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/x/wedding-rings-barren-ground-17438084.jpg
To want True Love for you
Knowing Full Well that
One Kiss will take you
Far from me
And Yet
To want the Best for you
Life in its Full Glory
Is to Sacrifice
My full arms
To fill yours
I will have an Empty Room
From This Day Forth
Always a Place for you
It is a Willing Loss
To see your Dream Come True
The happy Amazement on your face
The Promise of Future Good
My eyes cannot Contain
Such life-changing Emotions
Flooding my spirit
And Overflow 
For Balance
Joy and Tears
Will Join Together
The Perfect Match
For a Wedding

The song....

Today and maybe even more so in the next 4 weeks-I want to share from other peoples writings-this week from Bill and Gloria Gaither-words taken from a Christmas Musical they wrote in 1983-we performed it as our Christmas Cantata and it still resonates in my spirit today. The musical was titled "He started the whole world singing"


"In the very beginning all of creation was full of the glory of God, and his glory flooded everything with the shining light of openness. There was beauty, there was trust. Every moment was pregnant with the seed of the Eternal. Dreams were not a fantasy but an everyday reality, and music filled the air with the song of the free.


But man misused his gift of freedom, and traded the eternal for things he could taste and hold. The dream of perfection became a dim memory and the lovely song was shattered into confused fragments and broken chords.


Still God did not desert His creation. No, instead, He made a promise to those who would hear His voice and seek His face, a promise to one day make a way to restore the lost glory to their lives and re-weave the broken song.


The years of waiting were long and hard. Those who believed the promise were often persecuted and ridiculed and driven from their homes. The sound of Hope sometimes grew dim in their ears, and they were no strangers to doubt.


But Hope did come! It broke like the dawn on a dark lonely hillside in a song so glorious it could not be denied, even by the dullest of ears.


Yes! The song was Jesus, and in Him God kept His promise. It was not just a carol that burst forth on that first Christmas night; it was the Source of all music,born; it was the living "Word made flesh" ;
it was the promised glory.....returned!


....and what the Song had to say....was that Love found a way.....to start the world singing the song!



Extra Of Everything, When I Run Out

     This week has been interesting. My husband Paul had gone to Florida, to take some bulky items to our other home there. On his way back, he picked up the minivan we purchased from my sister. Our final payment was there before Paul arrived. I wasn't near the post office to mail it, till later & I didn't know if it would arrive before Paul, thankfully it did. So, with a plane trip, minivan payment and still working on our home remodel in West Virginia, we were a bit tight on funds. We have some extra money put back over time for this, we call our stash. Lets just say it has significantly dwindled. This is not totally foreign to us, but we usually have resources over and above necessity.
    Like most people I really don't like these times, but I've come to realize, it's just life. Sometimes we have plenty extra of everything and we are generous with that extra when we have it. In those times, we put back a bit for when we don't have extra. I don't want to rely on what I have put back and hold on to it like a life raft, and I don't want to freak out when things are tight. So I have learned to enjoy the plenty and do with what I have, in the less. Like the Apostle Paul said in Philippians 4:12 & 13, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength." What is the secret? Rely on God for everything and realize He has my back no matter what.
    During this week of less, my husband was given a fuse for our new-to-us minivan, by simply asking if a clerk had one in stock. An unknown man overheard there was none in stock, and said to Paul, "Here, I got this for my van but it doesn't fit, take it, maybe it will fit yours." It fit! I used the last of the paper towels and instead of going to the store and spending a whole dollar-ish, which I had, I thought I would wait till the weekend when I buy groceries. My bosses wife said to me, CVS has free paper towels next door with your coupon card. So, I walked over and got some, free of charge, yay! I went to the store to get my beloved mineral water and found it on sale, while salad was only $.69, which we love, and had just finished up.
    So, I think my heavenly Father has my back, even when I need napkins, because he gave me those too. Yes, paper products are on my list of groceries this week. I'm just glad God has extra of everything, when I run out.

Warrior Support.

     Yesterday was Veteran's Day and as per usual, my mother put a stunning picture of my Pappy (Irish Grandfather) on her facebook. He served in WWII in Iwo Jima. I was reminded of the very safe person Pappy was. He was comfortable and gentle, loving and kind. And yet, TOUGH AS NAILS.
     My mom loves telling certain parts of my birth story and the others are just too painful. But the part about Pappy is everyone's favorite. I was a scheduled Cesarian that went wrong. The pressure of the birth canal was absent and my lungs needed the push to start. I was blue. I wasn't crying because I was focused on breathing. My mother started to fill with anxiety and in the cruelty of the era, she was sedated. I was taken to the baby ward and my writhing form was placed in a pressurized isolette filled with oxygen. My Pappy stood guard. He stood long hours and prayed. He fought by my side against the deficiency in my lungs. My Grandmother would remark that "He prayed you pink." Hands on the sheet of glass separating he did not stop fighting. He did not leave my side until I was oxygenated, calm, and sure to survive. He then found Mom who by this time was awake and told her that God had done the work. His strength was humility.
     On days when I feel beat up, lied about, and crushed by hateful words so that I am barely able to breath, I remember that God put a Warrior on my path to fight for me with love. He loves when I have none left. He gives when I am empty and He heals what I have no power to fix. Jesus stands by my side now hands on my heart speaking love over me. He reminds me I was chosen to exist and that He has an amazing plan. He reminds me that Mom and I could have easily died that day but that He kept us both here. We laugh about my favorite rock and roll quote that is also my favorite piece of existential philosophy, "Think of me what you will. I have a little space to fill." (Tom Petty)
     I do have a space to fill. I do have a job to do. I choose to put in my daily life those who will tell me when I'm wrong in a loving way and those who will applaud what I do right much more loudly. But, in all things I remember humility and love. Pappy laid down an example in those areas I will never forget and choose to live out now.

Binding

 

   Every week when I sit down to write, I contemplate what I should write about. I try to think of happy little nuggets that will bring smiles to every reader's face. I always end up coming back to simply writing the real deal....whatever I may be going through at that moment. And sometimes ....it ain't pretty.
  Last week I unintentionally hit a nerve with lots of folks when I wrote about feeling like I have failed my kids. I wasn't looking for pity or trying to drum up support. I was just putting my thoughts out there about what was going on in the "real" part of my life. You know, the part that not everyone sees when they look at me. The part that struggles. The part that battles and yes, sometimes gives in to discouraging thoughts. The part of me that is flawed. Human. Still in process of being transformed. The part of me that mirrors the thoughts that a lot of you out there have concerning our want to fix everything... and being frustrated when we can't just wave the magic wand and have life go the way we think it should.
  I was overwhelmed at the responses I received. My phone, email, text messages, and Facebook feed literally blew up. I couldn't keep up with it all, and it took me a few days to catch up. The thing that amazed me the most was the encouragement that poured out like a soothing ointment. People who I have never even met wrote to me about their own journeys with parenthood. We swapped horror stories. Then we swapped scriptures. Encouraging each other to keep on keeping on. Pledging to hold each other up when one of us feels like we can't take another step. Binding up those places that need supported while waiting for God to move. Being the body of Christ in loving action.
  To every one of you who spoke life over me and reminded me what the truth is...... Thanks. I needed that.
 

Permitted

I've just spent a really long time trying to say things that aren't aloud. I'm sure you have a closet full too. If you can't think of any right now, give it a month.

I've been sending the repair bills to the wrong place. I've forgotten that just because someone breaks something doesn't mean they know anything about fixing it. Breakers are often the most in need of fixing, even if they'd rather climb in their grave early than accept help.
I'm learning to stand where I've been put and accept the Lord's repairs as they come. My struggle might not be aloud, but His Grace is always heard.

Different Drummer



Image from:http://us.123rf.com/450wm/lafifa/lafifa1304/lafifa130400003/18856417-drummer-girl.jpg

My Darling,

Try to choose what’s Right

With ev’ry step you make

Tho’ I may feel Uncomfortable,

With new paths that you take

Press on! To the Unreachable

I cannot read the Plan

That God is leading you in Love-

He Sees more than I can

Your rhythm is so Intricate

Your destination, High

I let you go and Watch your feet

Take flight into the Sky

March on! Your Dance is Beautiful

Your life, His work of Art

Your different drum will echo

With the beating of my heart